Different Worlds

[16] Old thoughts

It hit me the morning after Frank left, he was gone and I had broken his heart. It had felt easy to choose but now I was left with a huge gaping black pith in my heart. I realised then that the past two years were the best yet and I wish I hadn't followed my mind... But my heart. As much as I thought Manuel was sexy, loving and kind, those couple of months when we were together were painful. He had let me down on so many things and disappointed me. What I had with Frank was happy, and what I had with Manuel wasn't really. I started to cry as I realised that I had let the best thing ever go...
"Nina, what are you doing here?" Basti's face was blank as he opened the door. I don't blame him for that. All my make up was gone, I had pudgy eyes and my hair was a mess. I looked at him, "Tell me why I should give Manuel another chance." He pulled me into the house and hugged me. I trusted Basti's opinions and his advice had helped me with so much already. He sat me down on the sofa, tilted my head up to his and started, "You have absolutely no idea how much Manuel loves you. He hasn't stopped since you two broke up. Even when he was with Kathryn he knew that she wasn't the one. He saw that you were happy with Frank and he beat himself up about it. When you were together with Benedikt before you left for London, all he did was clench his teeth at national trainings...." The tears wouldn't stop. Sarah had just come home, we used to be good friends. I was hoping she wasn't going to take this the wrong way. "Hi guys", she smiled and sat down next to me. Basti continued, "He has been kicking himself for the past couple of years because of how that relationship ended. But he's never stopped loving you, ever. He actually went to London two weeks after you had left but saw you with Frank, and it sent him into hibernation for two whole weeks." Sarah turned to me, "Basti is right. The night you two broke up was supposed to be special. He had planned everything to a tee. He was going to go to your presentation, bring you out to dinner and then ask you to marry him... I have never seen someone so excited about something. And it broke his heart when you had left..."
All I could do was blame myself. How did I not see that we could have saved it? That I could have gotten a job in Munich and moved down to be close to him. Heck! I could have been married by now...