Midnight Musings

Ever just feel...emo?

~Running~
We have been running
For so very long;
We have been fighting,
Yet we don't seem strong.

We have been searching
For what we had all along;
We have been singing
The very same old song.

~Scream~
We scream
We scream
We scream
Until our throats are raw
We scream
Until we can only whisper
Then we breath our last breath

"There's not enough strength in the world to save you from your own thoughts."

~Words~
These pens and pencils we hold in our hands
We wave them around
We make our own plans
But they're weapons that kill
Not like in the movies
Not with force or violence
But they torture a person
With words or with silence
I find that words
Are stronger than guns
They have power to pull the trigger
And the power to stop one
They blackmail, they hate,
They tell us nasty things
It's the words not the guns
That keep us tied up in strings
Words killed the man
May he Rest In Peace.
It was a murder not a suicide
The words were guilty.
"It's fine! We're just teasing!
It's all in good fun!"
But that's not what the man thought
As he picked up the gun.
But it wasn't the gun that killed him
Rather the words that were said
We found a small note:
"You like me better now I'm dead?"

~A Prophecy; A Legend~
Once, you were a prophecy;
Something not yet, but to be.
You roamed around unknown,
People called you a nuisance,
An idiot, a dreamer, a wannabe.
You did great deeds
With not a medal to your name.
No one knew where you came from
Or where you were to go;
No one recognized your name,
They didn't care enough to know.

Now, you are a legend;
Something great that once was.
People tell your stories,
They applaud all your great deeds.
You're a hero, a savior,
A standard by which to be measured.
You are admired by all
And lack not in praises.
When asked by a stranger,
Everyone knows your name;
Yet when that stranger passes,
No one knew you ever came.

What is the difference?

-Robot-
I am a robot.
I suppose sometimes I see things in robotic terms. I speak with distance in my tone, as if these things I am saying are things I am merely observing. I feel detached to human emotions, unable to properly respond to a situation as I know I should.
I know how humans work. They cry when they are sad or angry or happy or shocked. They laugh when something amuses them or they feel uncomfortable. They smile often because it brightens their own moods and the moods of others around them. They cheer and praise and support one another for doing well or trying their best.
I can do these things.
But mine is a performance, not a reaction.
I laugh not because I am feeling awkward or overjoyed, but because I know I am supposed to in such a scenario. I smile because people feel that I am rude if I do not. I support and cheer others on even if I do not understand the purpose or point. I cry because I cannot feel anything at all.

Sometimes though-on rare occasions-I feel. But I still do not feel sadness; I feel utter despair and torment. I do not feel joy, but I do feel a bubbling happiness that lasts for a certain circumstance. I have not felt the need to encourage, but I at least remember to do it properly and do not feel burdened by it. I do not feel anger, but a burning confusion deep inside that I cannot express or identify which causes me to react as rashly as if I did.
Then it passes. And I forget. I forget that I am human, and I forget that I feel. I forget what it feels like; I forget what it is called.
Then I am a robot.

-All I Am-
Is that all I am? An empty voice, floating in the void. A voice with nothing to say and no one to say it to. A silent voice.
Is that all I am? Indifferent, apathetic, unaware. Watching life pass me by without bothering to interrupt it. Is it because I have nothing to say or because I know no one will listen? Is it because I simply grew tired of trying...
Is that all I am? A thought, only to be forgotten the moment it is over. A breeze, only to blow past and never be felt again.
A wraith. An entity wholly cognizant, yet immaterial. Present, yet not existing. Aware, but not real. A disembodied concept.
Is that all I am?

~Neverland~
What we had was something unique. It was something the likes of which had never been, and never will be again. We ended the same way we started. And yet we never fully ended at all. We are never ending in an impossible land.
When we were together, we were timeless.
We were ageless.
We were full of hopes and dreams.
We were beautiful. We were amazing.
I'll never forget what we were, and I will never not miss it.

"Dear Lord, I wish people had not corrupted the many wonderful beautiful things you've made. I wish I hadn't been one of them."

"We're all dying slowly of the disease called life."