Fresh Embers of Love

Chapter 24

Nuwa sipped at her cup of tea, studying the person across from her. Tangyue had finally come to visit her. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but it wasn't this. Tangyue was having a hard time looking her in the eye.

His Father had come along with him, and was currently closeted with her Father in another room. Surely they were discussing marriage terms. But then, Grandmother was sitting here next to her. The Matchmaker would have to be involved in any discussion of marriage. So she supposed they couldn't be negotiating a marriage contract.

Tangyue sipped at his cup of tea, and moved his hand to place it down.

"Tangyue?" Nuwa asked him, startling him. He knocked his cup over, spilling the contents on the table.

"Sorry! Sorry!" he apologized nervously.

Nuwa had a million questions for him, but wasn't sure where to start. What could she ask in front of her Grandmother that wouldn't bring shame to her family?

"Tangyue, where have you been the last week or so?" Nuwa asked with forced politeness. "Your note said that you were leaving, but didn't say where."

"I had to take QingWa Sheng to see his Mother" he responded, looking at her briefly before turning his gaze away to the garden. "I also went to visit my parents" he told the Pomegranate tree to his right.

"That sounds nice" Nuwa commented, staring intently at his profile. She was looking for any clue as to why he was so distant now.

"Perhaps he regrets what we did in the Flower Realm" Nuwa thought to herself with a pang.

How could she go back to how things used to be? He had pressured her so hard to love him in a romantic way. She had let herself do that. She couldn't just turn it off. Why didn't he want her anymore?

Nuwa's stomach churned. The tea felt like acid in her throat. She set her cup down, and hugged her stomach, hoping the pressure from her arms could help settle it.

"Nuwa, baby, are you feeling ill again?" Grandmother asked. She pushed Nuwa's hair back away from her face, putting her cool hand on her forehead.

"You're burning up!" Grandmother said in alarm.

She turned to Tangyue. "I'm sorry, I need to put her to bed" Grandmother said curtly.

She hooked Nuwa's arm over her shoulder and lifted her up out of the chair, steering her along into the house. Tangyue's worried expression followed them. Was that guilt she saw in his face? Right before the door closed?

Grandmother maneuvered Nuwa into the bed, and placed a bucket close by, just in case she had to throw up again. Then she arranged the pillows around her comfortably, tucking in the covers around her.

"I'll go get some medicine for your fever, you just rest now" Grandmother ordered.

Nuwa nodded mutely, trying not to let the misery overtake her. Grandmother would be back soon. She wouldn't be able to explain her tears. She breathed deeply, in through her nose, out through her mouth, trying to calm herself.

She lurched to the side, grabbing the bucket. Everything she had eaten so far that day came back up in a series of heaves. She lay back, exhausted. At least her stomach felt better, even though her heart felt heavy.

Grandmother swept into the room with a hot clear medicinal broth in her hands.

"Oh, it came up" she commented, looking at the bucket. "I'll take care of that in just a moment" she promised, "but first I want you to drink this."

Nuwa took the bowl obediently, and did her best to drink it. Then she rolled over and faced the wall, closing her eyes. She didn't want to talk right now. Behind her she could hear her Grandmother collecting the bucket and the medicine bowl.

"I'll check back on you in a little while" Grandmother told her in a soft soothing voice.

When the door closed, Nuwa finally released the tears she had been holding back. She was hopelessly in love with Tangyue, and he had distanced himself from her. Her whole life, he had never acted so distant as he did now.

He used to always find an excuse to hold her hand or pat her on the shoulder. At the time it had been a bit annoying. Now he wouldn't even look at her, and she wished they could go back. Tangyue had been her best friend. It felt like a tremendous loss.

She hated to be sick like this, trapped in bed. Her room felt like a prison. She had been too anxious about Tangyue. She couldn't help her body's reaction to that. But now she realized that there was no sense in hoping for a marriage. The suspense was over.

"Just one more day" she thought to herself. "I'll give myself one more day to be in love with Tangyue, and to be sick over him. Tomorrow, I will not be sick anymore. I will get out of bed, I will eat properly, I will leave the house. My life will go on without him." Nuwa made this solemn vow to herself.

Her body wracked with sobs, great cleansing sobs. She would purge the anxiety, and the grief, and the rejection. When it had run it's course, she would feel empty and tired, but tomorrow she might feel just a little bit better.