His Other Best friend

Christopher

¶A/N.; Thai is unedited. Vote & comment! Deuces!✌🏾¶
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Chris...

Day 1: Denial & Blame

I did not want to be here. I was not no drug addict. I was not an alcoholic. I did not have no shit like an eating disorder. So why was I here?

I do not have a problem. I can stop all of this shit if I want to. The only reason I am here is because of Morgan. She made me this way. All I wanted was for her to love me still, but she went and started a life with that other nigga.

I feel like I am in jail. They took all of my shit from me and checked my bags. They searched me for drugs with a pat down and gave me a drug test.

I want to go home. I need to go home. Mama, stop looking at me so disappointed. Please, stop.

Day 5: Acceptance

I have a problem. There. I said it.  My name is Christopher Maurice Brown and I have a problem.

I use drugs as coping mechanism for the heartache I feel inside. I blamed the woman I love for my failure to cope properly. All that she has ever done was wish me the best. Yet, time and time again I took her kindness and love forgranted.

Now she has a family of her own. I may not ever be able to accept the fact that I am no longer the man in her life. I want to apologise to her. I want to tell her how sorry I am for all of the pain I have caused her. She does not deserve no type of hostility, my hostility.

I failed her as a partner. I failed my son a father. Whenever I get to see him again I want to apologise to him too. He deserves better from me, and hopefully I can show him better.

Day 15: Grief

No-one ever said that life would be easy. But did they ever say that it would be this hard either? We go through so much just for fleeting moments of happiness that never lasts.

Was my relationship with Morgan just that? Was we only destined to be a momentarily love that would last a lifetime through the creation of our son? I don't know, but it never felt that way.

It always felt like we were going to be the next Bonnie and Clyde. I thought that the fucking pads would fall off before we ever did. Stupid me, my bad. I keep going back to what went wrong in our relationship and all I ever can conclude is that I was the ultimate destroyer of my family.

I talked to Mama today on the phone. She prayed for me. She told me that she loves me still. That nothing could ever make her stop loving me. I felt even more like shit for being here.

Morgan was supposed to call too. She never did though. I was expecting too much from her. She has her own life to live and I have my own to rebuild. She probably forgot about it, me.

Day 18: Resolve

My therapist gave me some exercises to work on. I am not sure if they will work or not. I am willing to try though. Anything to get me out of this place quicker.

It is crazy how I have to be supervised to even draw a picture now. They must think that I am going to try to sniff the eraser or some shit. The shit is wild. There was this one dude, Wyatt I think was his name. He had been sniffing his eraser.