To Forget The Unforgettable

Chapter 13

A/N: Thanks everyone for reading, love your reviews! This chapter's got more on Ruth's time in the base. Next chapter will be where we diverge more from the book and film plots ;)

Ruth would have happily hidden away in her room for all eternity. The dread of seeing Group B again was enough to make her appetite vanish. She barely slept though she wanted to desperately. The thought of sinking into blissful oblivion, even if it was only temporary, was undeniably tempting. Yet, she couldn't bring her mind to shut up. Faces, voices, memories. They filled her head through the night. When she could no longer string together lucid thoughts, her body instead focused on one thing. The pain. The constant ache in her chest. It burrowed deeper with every second, yet it still hadn't reached the other side.

She didn't know what she thought would happen. Part of her hoped she could avoid the cafeteria forever. Knowing what had happened last time, perhaps she wouldn't be forced to go again. Maybe someone would bring food to her room or she could go and eat after the cafeteria had emptied. Much to her dismay, her stubbornness wasn't going to be tolerated. To the Right Arm, everyone was the same. Just a lot of kids who'd been through a hell of a lot, but that was over now. As far as the Right Arm were concerned, WICKED was a thing of the past. Now the problem everyone faced was survival. They had a lot more to worry about than the woes of each and every person they'd saved. So, if you wanted to eat, you ate with everyone else at the same time as everyone else, and that was that.

She'd been placed in a room with about ten other girls, none of whom she'd recognised. Part of her had wanted to introduce herself, to grasp this opportunity for a fresh start, but unfortunately, they already knew her. All of them had witnessed the scene with Aris. None of them spoke to her; they watched her with wary eyes as they whispered to each other. They would go for dinner and leave Ruth in the silence of the barrack. Today however, once everyone had shuffled out the door, a man walked in.

He didn't give his name, only told her that she had to join the others. His tone was firm- it wasn't a request. Ruth couldn't think of anything worse, the whole experience would be sheer hell. However, Ruth didn't want to be any more of a burden than she already was. Stomping her feet and making a fuss... what was the point? She deserved the way the others treated her, so she would just have to deal with it.

Surprise flitted across the man's face at how easily she complied. He'd clearly been expecting her to put up more of a fight. He followed closely behind her all the way to the hall, thinking she was going to try something. Did she really seem that unstable? As they neared the hall, Ruth's heartbeat thudded louder in her ears and she figured the man was probably right to be cautious. She needed to run back to her room, to hide away. If Beth were with her now...

It's okay Ruth, she'd say, taking her hand. Anyone tries anything funny, I'll take care of them.

But you can't, Ruth cried to the voice in her head. You're not here.

They don't know that.

Something clicked at that moment. As if Ruth had been falling down an endless tunnel and had finally found something to grip onto. Everyone thought she was Beth. Beth who had always been the stronger of the pair. They didn't know Ruth, didn't even know she existed. As far as everyone else was concerned, she was Beth. Which meant that Ruth could be Beth. The part of her that loved Beth ferociously craved to connect to the girl she could never see again. But this didn't mean that Beth was lost. Ruth could keep her alive. To stop cowering in shame and wallowing in guilt, to be brave and strong and good. That is how Beth would want her to be. That is how Beth would be. It was the least she could do, to keep Beth alive, not just in memories that she would tell people years from now, but to show people who she was, and why they were all wrong about her.