About You {hero fiennes tiffin}

15

"Did you want to help me pack?" I whispered against his lips as we both came up for air.

"No." He he whispered back, breathlessly.

He kissed me again, only this time it was much like mine. Hungry, full of passion and so so hot. He took my face between his hands and my first instinct was to walk back towards the bed as I tangled my fingers sloppily into his hair.

Was this what wanting to have sex with someone felt like?

I was disintegrating under his touch, only craving to feel him everywhere, all over me. Our bodies moved hastily, as if we were running out of time, but our lips seemed to be moving in slow motion. In this moment there was nothing I wanted more, than this. With him right now in this tiny dorm room, sneaking glances of the different angles of his face any time we parted for air.

I felt my head hit the pillow beneath me and I could've sworn I had landed on a cloud. Maybe this is what he meant every time he said he could stay forever in these beds. Being so comfortable in the moment with another person that even a bed of bricks could feel like rose petals. I could feel every worry, every ounce of self doubt and every insecurity fly out of the window.

Until suddenly, it ended. He ripped his lips away from mine, and it almost took my breath away. My body was cold as the warmth from his no longer captivated me.

I couldn't even muster up the courage to speak. He only sat straight up and stared at the wall away from me. Instantaneously, my insecurities came flooding back like a tsunami and the only thought I could even produce was that of what haunted my mind from so many nights ago.

What kind of guy wants some used piece of trash? That's exactly what you are! Trailer park trash, no one will want you.

I stared at the ceiling in disbelief. I felt drunk, and almost like it may have been a dream. I don't understand why everything seems to happen in an instant with him. It's like all you get is a moment, maybe two, to cherish until the next time he decides he wants to open up again.

Like a monthly subscription box that only comes with samples, all the while you're paying full prices.

I noticed him wiping the corners of his eyes and immediately looked towards the ceiling again.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out.

"God.. don't be." He mumbled back.

I still didn't look at him, afraid he might leave all together.

"Did you finish your paper?" I asked quietly, trying to change the subject in the least awkward way possible.

"Yeah."

"Good."

The silence swallowed us again as the bed felt like it was only shrinking. I could tell just how close we were actually sitting and it made me want to be anywhere else right now, which was the complete opposite from where I wanted to be ten minutes ago.

I wasn't sure if I should sit up, stay laying down, or just leave my own room all together. I didn't think he would talk to me after this. And now the only thing that I could think about was leaving for London in three days.

How would I ever get over this feeling of embarrassment?

It already made my soul feel like it was deteriorating piece by piece.