trashmouths wife ➵ richie tozier x reader [editing]

3

"everything but the delicious deals, my mum loves them." Eddie tells the boys as they grab a load of treats and put them into a bag.

"i don't get it, first you said the barrens and now your saying the sewer?" I ask confused

"yeah, what if we get caught?" Eddie says

"we won't ed's, the sewers are public works, were the public aren't we?" Bill says

"Don't be so scared eddie." I say ruffling his hair up and he swats my arm away.

"hey eddie, these your birth control pills?" Richie asks opening a cupboard.

"yeah and i'm saving them for your sister, this is private stuff." Eddie says annoyed.

We walk towards eddies front door when his mum calls him, "eddie bear. Where you boys off to in such a rush." She says completely ignore me.

"Um j-ju-j-j-ju-just my back yard, mrs k. I got a new......."

"a new croquet set. Jeez, spit it out b-b-b-bill." Richie says impersonating bills stutter.

"okay. oh and sweetie don't go rolling around on the grass, especially if it's just been cut. You know how bad your allergies can get."

"yes mom." Eddie says ushering us out.

"aren't you forgetting something?" His mum asks making us stop.

Eddie says walking over to her, He leans down and kisses her on the check. Making me and richie laugh. "Do you want one from me too mrs k? i-" Richie says as eddie pushes us out.

"sorry mommy." Eddie says closing the door behind him.

"That was priceless!" I exclaim peddling faster.

"Fuck you." Eddie says blankly.

"is little eddie bear embarrassed." Richie chuckles.

"Shut up richie!" Eddie shouts

We ride down the street to stans house- He was on about something with birds. To be honest when the loser would talk about something boring id blank out completely.

"i saw a blue one this mor-" Stan started

"Stanley, we don't care about fucking birds!" Richie harshly says

"dude."

"It's true."

"it's not my fault he's an old man."

"I like birds okay?!" Stan says

"And there's nothing wrong with that." I say, "is there richie?"

"no- Only that, bird watching is for old grouchy men."

"It's not for old men!"

"yeah? Go tell that to the senior down town stanley."

"g-g-guys!" Bill says shutting up their bickering, "We're here."

"finally." I sigh.

"that's poison ivy, and that's poison ivy. and that's poison ivy." Stan says pointing to a bunch of plants

"where?" Eddie asks, "where's the poison ivy?"

"no where. Not every fucking plant is poison ivy stanley."

"okay, well i'm starting to get itchy..."

"Do you share the same bathroom as your mother?"

"sometimes, yeah."

"then you probably have crabs."

"that's so not funny."

I walk into the sewer entrance behind bill, and richie behind me.

"aren't you guys coming in?" Richie asks stan and eddie.

"nu-uh." Eddie says shaking his head, "that's grey water."

"what the hell is grey water."

"it's basically, piss and shit so i'm just telling you. You guys are splashing around in millions of gallons of derry pee. so..." Eddie says

"You're so over dramatic ed's." I say.

"no- i'm rational!"

Richie picks up a stick and starts smelling it, "wha-are, are you serious? what are you-"

"doesn't smell like caca to me señor." Richie says in his terrible Spanish accent that sounds more like yoda. "Does it smell like caca to you señorita?" He asks me, in a slightly better accent but still bad

I shake my head, "No, no it doesn't."

"okay. I can smell that from here." Eddie says

"it's probably just your breath wafting back into your face."

Eddie scoffs, "have you ever heard of a staph infection?"

"oh, i'll show you a staff infection." Richie says

"this is so unsanitary. You're literally... this is literally like swimming inside of a toilet bowl. Right now. I mean have you ever heard of listeria?"

Richie throws a bin bag at eddie causing him to scream. "Are you retarded?!"

"Of course he is- look at him." I say slightly pushing him.

"What about you!" He says pushing me back.

"Youre in for it tozier!" I say kicking the grey water at him.

"gross." Eddie says scoffing at us.

Stan rolls his eyes at us as we continue kicking the dirty water at each other.

"oh no i think i've got aids y/n!" Richie says sarcastically.

"Oh no! What can we do dr k?!" I ask 'panically'

"Shut the fuck up." Eddie says annoyed, making me and richie laugh.

"guys!" Bill shouts getting our attention. He's holding a shoe.

"shit. Don't tell me that's...." Stan says worried.

"no. Gu-G-Georgie wore galoshes."

"Whose sneaker is it?" Eddie asks. Me and richie walk over to bill as he shines his touch light into the shoe.

On the side of the shoe it read, b. ripsome.

"It's betty ripsomes." I say

"oh, shit. oh god. oh fuck." Eddie panics, "i don't like this."

"how do you think betty feels?" Richie says, "running around these tunnels with only one frinkin' shoe?" Richie chuckles as he hops on one leg.

Bill looks towards him, not saying a word. And richie awkwardly looks back at him.

"What if she's still here?" Stan asks

Me, richie and bill start to move farther into the tunnels.

"eddie come on."

"my mom will have an aneurysm, okay. If she finds out we're playing down here. I'm serious."

"Bill?"

"if... if i was betty ripsome i'd want us to find me. G-gu-georgie too."

"what if i don't want to find them?" Eddie asks, "i mean no offence bill, be i don't want to end up like g." he starts to say georgie but stops,  "... i don't want to go missing either."

"He has a point." Stan says

"y-y-you too?" Bill asks.

"It's summer. We're suppose to be having fun. This isn't fun. this is scary and disgusting ."

We hear a splash from behind eddie and stan making us all gasp. We see the new kid on his knees in the river.

"holy shitttt. What happened to you?" Richie asks.