my mistake (hawksilver)

I hate it.

(Pietro) 
I hold on to Nathaniel and cry, the tears rolling down my face. 
"It started as a joke I swear!" my voice breaking every shaky breath. I don't let go of him, he just hugs me back, his face buried into my shoulder. 

"I miss him too," Cooper spoke up from where he lent against the wall. "but he's gone, try to be happy," he sounded far too old for a boy of his age. 
"I don't miss him," I say and wipe my face before setting Nathaniel down. "how about I cook tonight?" there are still a few shakey tears falling down my face. there are no complaints are made and I walk into the kitchen, looking for anything that I could cook. 

*Later* 
I place the soup on the table, with bread sitting on a circular plate. the kids sit at the table, and Copper's face drops, and he frowns. 
"dad's favrouite" the words almost make me drop the bowls in my hands. I sigh and place them on the table, the familiar anxiety taking over my chest. the guilt, the blame, the blinding regret. 

Laura walks in, sits down and doesn't say anything. 
"looks, lovely favourite hero," she takes a mouthful of soup, trying to hide the tears in her eyes. "Lovely, did your mother teach you to cook?" she asks wiping her eyes. I simply just nod and sit Nathaniel in my lap. 

(Cooper) 
Pietro frowns and I sip the soup, it's hot, it tastes of some herb dad liked far too much. I drop the spoon in the bowl and take a Piece of Bread, I can't stand the soup. I hate it. It's disgusting. I chew the bread slowly, ignoring mum as she wipes more tears from her eyes, we'd become used to the crying outbreaks. Lilia had finished her soup and was now drinking water, not taking the cup away from her lips. 

"thank you for dinner Pietro," she says sweetly. I frown but nod in agreement. Nathaniel is chewing on a bread end, his little teeth ripping through the crust. Pietro doesn't eat anything, he simply just smiles. 
"come on favourite speedster eat something, " Mum says and Pietro shakes his head and leans back in the chair. 

He's trying so hard to be dad. everything he does makes me think of dad. I hate him. He won't be replaced. I want my dad. 

(Nathaniel) 
I slide off his lap and totter around the floor. looking for something. Purple. daddy likes purple. but new daddy likes blue. I pick up a blue and Purple doll. it had hazle eyes, it looks just like daddy, but bluer. I place the doll on his knee. 
"pryo!" I babble and grin up at him. 'daddy' I think, knowing I'd never dare say that to his face. Cooper would be mad. 'he's not out dad never will be Nate!' 

he smiles at me and holds the doll in his hand. looking at the small archer in his hands. 

(Pietro) 
*flash back* 
I sit on the wooden bench, watching as the coffin gets dropped in the grave. it's a closeted casket. Wanda has her hand in mine forming small circles on my hand. 
"I told you I'd kill him," I mutter before walking away. leaving the funeral a full 3 hours early.