The Becoming of Ocean Wilde

f o u r

•°∆°• this chapter is dedicated to Ladylolaxx because she has voted and commented and I'm just so grateful for her support. Thank you! •°∆°•

l u c a

We can finish what we started... "And as she begins to push her mouth towards mine I straighten my legs so she slides to the ground with a surprised squeal.

"Luca?! What was th-"

"Sally, I don-"

"It's Sarah." She grounds out. Of course I know that. We've been dating on and off for the past three years, but now, I don't know why, but I think I'm just... Bored. Yeah. That's it. Bored.

"Oh yes. Sarah. That's right. Well Sarah? To be frank, you're boring." I take out my phone when I hear her audible gasp and begin to block her on my social media profiles. Not looking up, I continue. "And honestly? I needed something in my life and I thought that something was you, but it turns out it's not so I'd like to break up." Most around us had started to listen in on our now not so private conversation. "But don't worry. It's not me, it's you." At this point I look up to find her, still on the floor, staring at me in shock with her two minions behind her. She gets up and finally closes her mouth.

"What?!" Her screech echos in the cafeteria and I wince at the volume. To be fair it's nothing she did, I just lost interest.

"You know what? You're going to regret ever breaking up with me, you piece of shit. I-"

"Oh Sally, I've been called worse by better people. Is that the best you've got?" Apparently it was not and I realise this as I feel the palm of her hand against my face. Hard.

"Not the face..."

"Ugh! That's all you ever care about! That and athletics! How about sitting down and asking how your girlfriend is doing intead of asking for sex! Ugh." she turns and stomps out, minions in tow.

I grin at the crowd that had formed around us and shrug wincing as the skin on my face stretches.
"Nothing to see here! Carry on. As you were."
I finish blocking Sarah on instagram and pick up my bag to go find Ocean, if Noah hasn't gotten to her first.

o c e a n

I close my eyes as I hear the sound of the crunch of grass underfoot coming towards me. I had been here for about twenty minutes and this had given me more than enough time to make myself comfortable. I had taken off my shoes and jeans jacket, balling it up and using it as a pillow. I was now lying on the grass, barefeet, facing the cloudless blue sky. I smile. This felt good. Kind of like bliss. And in that moment I fully understood the saying ignorance is bliss more than I ever had before. And man was it true.

"What do you want dick?" I decided to address the situation at hand. He doesn't respond for a moment, but then I feel his presence next to me as he sits down.

"I just broke up with my girlfriend. Well my ex girlfriend, I guess." At this I open my eyes and turn my head to look at him. He is laying down next to me and is staring up at the sky. All emotionless apart from his eyes. Easy to read, just like a book. And I could tell he was hurting.

That's the thing I never understood about boys. Maybe it's a toxic masculinity thing but they all, more or less, cope with pain and hurt the same way. They all pretend they don't. That they don't mind and couldn't care less. None of them understanding that it's completley normal. It's normal to feel things. It doesn't make you a pussy. It doesn't make you gay. It makes you human.

"The girl that was sitting next to you at the table?" He nods, looking kind of bewildered. "How long had you been together?"

"Three years." The moment the words left his mouth, my brows shot up. I didn' t think someone like him could even be comitted to something that long. But once again. Who am I to judge?

"Three years is a long time."

"Yes it is." Silence.
"Why did you decide to break?"

"Well I loved her at the beginning. I really did," he sounds like he's trying to convince himself rather than me. "And I felt like something was missing in my life and I honestly thought it was her."

"So what went wrong?"

"I don't know, I just got... Bored." He seemed a bit reluctant to admit it but I could sense he was relieved that he did. "It -it was nice at first. We were together. A couple. I loved her, and she loved me but now I feel like I just... don't

"If you think you don't love her anymore, then I guess it was never love in the first place. And don't feel like you have some sort of obligation to still feel something for her, because you don't. If it was never meant to be, it will never be.

"And if you hadn't broken it up today, who's to say she wouldn't have done it tomorrow? In three months? Or in five years when you had both wasted eight years on a relationship that was doomed to sink from the moment it set sail? Don't feel guilty. If you ever felt anything for her it will be hard to just carry on as if nothing happened, but life goes on and so will you.

"And don't forget. Feelings make you human. If you didn't feel anything afterwards what would that make you? It's okay to feel. Just don't dwell on those feelings after you've made your decision and it's too late to go back."

He nods and finally turns his head to me giving me a smile, albeit a pained one. I sigh.

Done with other people's problems for the day I stand, wear my shoes and jacket, and make my way to the science block for my next lesson: physics.

°•°•°•°•°•°°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°°•°•°•

so i'm not entirely sure about the beginning of this chap but i'm quite happy with the rest... this was such a short one, but the next will be longer and more interesting. promise!
what do you think? please tell if you have any suggestions or questions!
ugh. ugggghhhhhhh. i have school tomorrow and i donnnttt wanna gooooo.
i just wanna hibernate    :-\

Question:
What's your favourite colour?

<4

Love, SK