Synthetic Reality

Greg Goes Galactic

You are cordially invited to attend
Emperor Volodymyr Oblast's private reception
following the official coronation event
at the Imperial Palace
on Grandor Prime.

Onzaga Oblast, the mother of the Emperor, took a drag off a laced cigarette and slid the invitation into the hand of her dog walker. Greg smiled, fumbled with the golden ticket, and shoved it into the pocket of his cargo shorts.

He just returned from walking the dowager's prize purebred snipter-zoodles. The elegant canine-esque quadrupeds had purple curly hair and were playful and harmless, considering their size. When on the leash the two of them tended to walk Greg more than he walked them. Nonetheless, it became his daily routine and the morning jaunt through the Imperial Gardens filled him with personal joy and provided time to ponder existence in a sublime natural setting. He also got tips in the form of drugs and odd gifts.

"Now, Gregory, I've taken the liberty of choosing an outfit for you to wear to the party." She gestured to a jacket and slacks hung across a stand next to her and passed the joint over to her friend.

"It's just Greg." He took a puff of the thin hand-rolled cigarette. "You know, I used to say starting smoking when I was 40 was a bad idea, but now I think starting Jakz Juice at 50 was the truly bad move."

Greg was hopelessly addicted to both. He discovered, quite by accident, that nicotine dulled the effects of Jakz Juice and allowed him to walk through life with a mild hallucinogenic buzz and some jitteriness. This combo really helped in his new environment.

~

Grandor Prime Security Clearance
Dossier: Greg Petix
Age: 51
Species: Human
Physical condition: Stable

Background: A man out of place and time, the subject was abducted by a Sleldack space slug, who at the time was living in the body of another human named Daisy Eatherton. The Sleldack bonded with Petix over a vegan meal in a public eatery in a place known as Portland, assumedly a spaceport city of early 21st century Earth. At the time Petix was working as a "burger flipper" at a place called the "Burger Barn."

Petix was offered a way off his doomed planet and insisted he bring along his "comic book" collection. The Sleldack agreed. The slug and his ship were never found, but its cargo of one cryogenically frozen 50-year-old human male and 20 thousand flimsy colorful books printed on a thin biodegradable fiber were passed among collectors of galactic oddities for centuries, eventually landing in the possession of the Library of Grandor. Petix was revived and the tens of thousands of centuries that had passed were only a night's sleep to him. Both he and his antique book collection were preserved perfectly by modern archivist techniques.

Petix donated his collection on the condition that he be permitted to read it whenever he wanted. He was given a small apartment on the outskirts of Capital City, Grandor.

He met the Duchess Oblast when she was viewing the priceless collection of ancient literature and drawing. He gave his expert insight into the meanings behind the primitive illustrations and their mythological tales. The Duchess was intrigued by his knowledge on the subject and after a spontaneous and informal chat, he became her dog walker.

Tagged and monitored: Petix.G.880.SW.0.NK.4545.

Royal family authorization: GRANTED

~

Greg took another drag and handed the cigarette back to Onzaga who had company on the veranda. He wondered who they were and could no longer contain his excitement about it.