When The World Was Grey

Part 1: In The Heat Of The Moment

I had her in my literal grasp, I could feel her struggling and wanting to just leave me. Yet, I needed answers. At the same time though... I didn't want to hurt her.

I sat in my cell. The cold and hard feeling and rusty cell, the air was thin inside, but the feeling of my head becoming light got me used to it. There was really nothing else I could do for myself. The only thing that kept me alive was the small rations of food given to me by the guards, it was my only time that I felt better. Getting the sensation of the hunger in me becoming lesser, the only satisfaction I got. I was finishing eating my first meal, a small egg and a side of slightly dry and flavorless rice, the only thing I could drink was a small glass of water that tasted bad. My stomach was still growling even after I ate.

For at least three years, I have been here, with the same thing happening over and over again. Everyday is just wake up from the corner of your disgusting and vile cell, and then eat a bunch of garbage. It just kept going on, for so long, I barely even knew how long I've been in there, the only times I'd know is when I was reminded of it, but I wasn't too excited to hear about it all the time, because it would usually be everyone mocking me for it. Over these years I've been dreaming of killing everyone in this god forsaken place. 

I looked up at a camera in my cell, the surveillance camera that everyone was watching me from. I saw the little red dot flashing on it. Scott Damon, one of the head leaders of this facility they've been keeping me in asked,  "Hey. Xavier."   He said in a semi-casual voice, and I just stared at the camera. He then said to me,  "So, what are you feeling like?"  Scott said in a way that made me think he was trying to make me feel better. I didn't know what to say at first, so I sat silent. After a second of just staring, I replied back,  "... What are you trying to do..?"   My voice, my voice was low like always. Deep and ever so slightly raspy. I asked in a genuinely confused state, with a pause. 

Scott answered,  "What am I trying to do? Huh, well nothing really. I was... Just asking a question."   Scott never usually says anything like this, he's usually just talking about me to other guards. He thinks he's smarter than me, but I know that he is a complete moron deep down. I have a feeling everyone thinks that, but they don't want to be mean. Idiots! Complete idiots! Scott went silent, and so did I. I turned myself around on my single wooden and creaky stool, I looked down at the ground like I usually do. The cell I had to stay in was just a square metal and dust filled room. Nothing to do, and nothing to even keep me the very least entertained. 

I overheard Scott talking to a bunch of random people again, like he always does. I heard him say,  "Hmm. I think that Xavier could finally be catching up to a better state of mind. I mean, he's not threatening me all the time now, for one thing."   Scott said and then paused, I heard some other random person say something back,  "Well I think that, you know. Being a bit nicer will get him to be nicer back."   I heard laughing through the intercom in my cell. I just found it annoying, they never realize that I can hear them, probably because I've never said anything about it. So I just sat on my stool, thinking about what I could do if I was just out of the god forsaken facility. 

I heard Scott say to me as I had my back turned,  "Xavier, if you tell me how you're actually doing. I'll give you another snack. Buddy."   He said in a weird way, it was like he genuinely wanted to be nice to me, but I can't trust Scott. I hate him, he used to yell and shout out at me even when I wasn't doing anything. He used to purposely order bad food for me so I could suffer even more. Half rotten tomato slices with murky water, he's made me eat that just for his entertainment! He did! I swear to god I wanted shove that food down his damn throat. Yet, he offered me something I might not get another time. Ever. 

So I turned back around, looking at the camera. I spoke slowly to Scott,  "I'm doing... Not good, like always."   I said with a hateful tone, and Scott replied casually,  "... Alright then, thanks, Xavier."   I honestly didn't know what he was trying to plan, I mean why would he be nice now all of the sudden? I heard someone's footsteps coming down to my cell, and a random looking guard with a small beard came in, but didn't step in all the way. He put down a plate with a small cup of pink ice cream.