Mat Barzal - Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Part 2

Mat's POV

I felt like a piece of shit. I just ruined Emily's relationship, and now she was hiding in a bathroom. Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut?

Something about that guy set me off. It was the way he wrapped his arm around her, it was like he was claiming her as his, and I didn't like it at all.

I thought she liked me, too. Whenever Emily stayed over at my apartment, I felt complete. She reassured me whenever we lost and chased away the doubts in my head that I'm not as good as everyone thinks I am. She was always down for a movie marathon after a win, because sometimes, I'd rather stay in than go out. She just got me.

Or that's what I thought until that guy walked in a few minutes ago.

"Earth to Mat," Alexis snapped her fingers in front of my face.

"Huh?"

"What were you daydreaming about? Emily, perhaps?" My eyes widened, and she smiled triumphantly. "I knew it. You like her, don't you?"

There was no point in denying it now. "I do. And I just screwed it up by attacking that guy."

"Nah, I wasn't crazy about him anyway, and frankly, neither was Em. She knew he wasn't the right fit for her, but she was trying to forget a certain dark-haired, hazel-eyed hockey player."

I sighed in defeat.

"Oh my God, it's you, you idiot!" Tito interjected.

My head snapped up. "What?"

"She likes you too, man. Anyone with eyes can see that."

"You're kidding."

"No, he's right," Alexis said. "She's crazy about you. But now isn't the time to be talking about this. Emily is never going to come out unless we leave."

"Alright," I said, and the three of us walked out of the common room.

Emily's POV

Emily emerged from her hiding place as soon as she heard them going towards the rink and ran out the other door, heading for the park outside the rink.

Eisenhower Park didn't just host the Islanders ice rink; it had a baseball field and other public green spaces. Emily liked sitting at a picnic table under a tree just out of view of the rink. This was where she went when she needed a breath of fresh air or time to think. Even better, no one, not even Alexis, knew about her spot. Emily was secure in the knowledge that she wouldn't be followed, and as soon as she sat on one of the benches, she exhaled.

Emily looked up at the autumn leaves on the tree, and the colors reflected how she felt on the inside—scared, anxious, nervous, and in spite of it all, excited. She wasn't all that sad to see Sam go, as cruel as it sounded—it just wasn't a fit. But she heard Mat's confession to Alexis and Tito, and her heart leapt at the fact that he liked her back. Emily still had butterflies in her stomach from hearing him say that. But she was also terrified about what it meant. She didn't want to lose as good a friend as Mat if things were to end badly, and he was one of, if not the, best looking players in the NHL. He could have anyone.

Emily's spiral down the rabbit hole that was her mind stopped when she heard leaves crunching some distance behind her. She stayed very still and listened to the crunching, which was growing louder. Emily was sure it was Alexis, and she sighed, knowing that she would have to find another spot.

The crunching came to a stop right behind her, and she turned around, fully expecting to see her best friend, but it was not Alexis.

"Mat? Wha-what are you doing here?" Emily stuttered, which was uncharacteristic of her, but she was truly shocked to see him here.

"Uh," Mat said sheepishly, "I noticed a while back that you sometimes leave and disappear for a little bit, and I wanted to know where you went, so I may or may not have followed you a few weeks ago. I didn't mean to be creepy, I swear," he rushed to add, "but I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Emily's heart started to melt inside, but she managed to keep her emotions in check and just nodded.

"Do you mind if I sit?" Mat asked. Emily shrugged in response, and he sat next to her on the picnic bench.

"Emily," Mat turned to face her, "I just want you to know how sorry I am about what went down earlier. I didn't mean to hurt you or ruin your relationship..."

"It's okay," she said, "and you can't ruin something that wasn't right in the first place."

"Huh?" Mat looked surprised and confused.

It took all the courage Emily had to say it. "I liked Sam, but I didn't like Sam, if you know what I mean."

Mat raised an eyebrow as if to say, no, he didn't know what she meant.

"The truth is, I only agreed to go out with Sam because I have a huge crush on you and I was hoping those feelings would go away."

"You like me!" Mat seemed elated for about a second, but then his mood came crashing down and he said, "But why would you want them to go away? I like you too, Em. A lot."

Emily swallowed hard. "You're a hockey player, which means you're on the road a lot, and...I'm just going to say it: I have trust issues. Like, massive trust issues. You know how my parents divorced when I was little?" She took a deep breath. "It was because my dad left my mom for another woman when he started traveling for his job. I can't, no, won't have that happen to me."

She looked up in fear because she did not mean to over-share, but Mat had a genuine look of concern on his face.

"Emily," he tentatively reached for her hand, and she let him take it, "Your dad is a loser. Truly, I don't know how anyone would want to leave you. You are the smartest, kindest person I know, and I find myself falling harder for you each day. I would never, ever do anything like that to you, I promise."

Emily wanted to believe him, she really did, but she was scared. "You say that now, but what if some girl comes along who's prettier than me and you decide you want her instead?"

Mat looked a bit hurt when she said it, but he looked her in the eye and said, "That won't happen. Not only are you gorgeous, but I like you for you. In the time I've known you, you have been such a good friend, and that's what good relationships are based on—friendship. No one can come close to the connection we have." He squeezed her hand in emphasis.

"Really?" Emily said, because she was speechless and she felt like she had to respond in some way.

"Really. So what do you say, Em, are you willing to take a leap of faith and give me a chance?"

As she stared at Mat's hazel eyes, Emily had an epiphany. She had been living her life on guard, so worried about people hurting her that she closed herself off to love. But that was not a healthy way to live. Emily would have to let someone in sometime, and she didn't want to miss out on a guy like Mat. He really cared about her, and she cared about him.

"Yes," Emily said. Mat's face was consumed by the most beautiful smile she had ever seen in her life.

"You won't regret this, Em, I promise. We can take it slow, of course..." Emily leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, and she swore fireworks went off. It was probably the most spontaneous thing she had ever done, but she couldn't help herself. He smiled into the kiss, and he brought his hands up to cradle her cheeks before she pulled away, desperately needing air.

"Wow, that was...God, I can't find a way to describe it. You've actually rendered me speechless, Emily," Mat laughed, and she laughed, too. He grabbed her hand as they got up to walk back to the rink.