BLUE LACE

01

"I don't want it to hurt anymore." Emily sighed.

Hearing those words broke her heart into pieces. She couldn't stand the thought of Emily hurting so much while she was so powerless to protect her. Realizing that it wasn't words that Emily need, she tightened her arms around Emily's shoulders and softly kissed her head. She would do anything for this girl.

Moments passed in silence as they held each other. Paige glanced around the darkness in the room, her eyes falling easily upon the window bench, covered in quilted pillows. A memory tugging fondly at her heart. She had come to Emily, scared and confused. Emily had been there for her then.

~* "want to hear something funny?" Emily asked. Paige fought back her tears. "I would love to hear something funny." *~

The memory made Paige smile, but only briefly. She wanted to see Emily smile again.

"Do you want to go somewhere, Em?" She whispered quietly, part of her hoping Emily wouldn't hear so that she wouldn't have to feel the pain of the answer she feared.

"yea, actually I'd love to." Emily sighed sitting herself up.

Paige exhaled in relief, not realizing she had been holding her breath. She stood and grabbed Emily's hand, gently pulled her off the bed and leading her down the stairs. Stopping only to pick up their jackets that hung near the door, before heading out into the cool night.

They walked in silence down the street for a few moments listening to the sound of the crickets and the leaves rustling in the branches high above.

"where are we going?" Emily asked, genuinely curious.

"you'll see.." Paige answered giving Emily a mischievous smile.

But her smile faltered as she looked back to the ground. Emily made her feel uncertain at times.

Though not intentionally. Lately Paige couldn't tell if she was giving Emily everything that she needed. If she was helping her move on at all, or if she was just along for the ride. That frustrated her. She hated feeling weak and unsure. She told herself that it didn't matter. Emily mattered. But the feeling of helplessness ached in her bones.

Seeing Paige smile made Emily feel so much better. But something about Paige's face troubled her, she couldn't put her finger on it.

Something about the slight wrinkle between her eye brows as she stared down at her feet. Worry, or some similar emotion. Guilt flooded through her. Realizing that she was probably the reason for everything that upset Paige.

She hated admitting it to herself but it couldn't be denied. Emily had let her down so many times in the past. Paige had reached out to her in the beginning and Emily had never stopped telling herself that she had failed her. Instinct made Emily pull Paige's arm closer, hugging her tightly as they walked. Willing her not to disappear.

Paige felt Emily hug her arm, snapping her away from her thoughts, and sending a cool wave of calm over her body. She returned the pressure. They reached the end of the street where the sidewalk stopped and a gravel path slithered into the woods. The house lights had begun to fade away. As Paige stepped towards the tree line Emily's heart started to pound. She dug her nails into Paige's jacket, nervous about the darkness looming ahead of them. Paige sensed Emily's hesitation and immediately stopped, turning to face her.

Concern spread across her face.

"Em?" she whispered "It's okay you can trust me. I promise I'll never hurt you…".

Emily stared into her deep brown eyes, so full of sincerity.

Scolding herself mentally for thinking that Paige could ever be the one doing the hurting. 'That's my job.' she thought sadly. 'I hurt everything I touch.