I'm always here

30. Fright

That night you were in your room with Pippin and Gandalf. Pippin was looking at clothing that the lord Denethor had sent him.

“So I imagine this is just a ceremonial position. I mean, they don’t actually expect me to do any fighting. Do they?”

You smiled.

“You are in the service of the steward now. You’re going to have to do as you’re told, Peregrin Took, guard of the Citadel.” Gandalf said, and you held in a giggle.

Pippin came to stand with you and Gandalf at the balcony, looking at Mordor.

“It’s so quiet.” Pippin remarked.

“It’s the deep breath before the plunge.”

“I don’t want to be in a battle, but waiting on the edge of one I can’t escape is even worse.”

You came up and knelt beside Pippin, putting your arm around him.

“Is there any hope, Gandalf, for Frodo and Sam?”

You looked up at Gandalf expectantly.

“There never was much hope.” Gandalf then smiled, “Just a fool’s hope.”

Gandalf looked back out towards Mordor, “Our Enemy is ready, his full strength gathered. Not only Orcs, but Men as well. Legions of Haradrim from the south. Mercenaries from the coast. All will answer Mordor's call. This will be the end of Gondor as we know it. Here the hammer-stroke will fall the hardest. If the river is taken, if the garrison at Osgiliath falls, the last defense of this city will be gone.”

“But we have the White Wizard. That’s got to count for something.” Gandalf sighed, “Gandalf?”

“Sauron has yet to release his deadliest servant. The one who will lead Mordor's armies in war. The one they say no living Man can kill. The Witch-king of Angmar. You've met him before. He stabbed Frodo on Weathertop. He is the lord of the Nazgûl, the greatest of the Nine. Minas Morgul is his lair.”

For a while, you stood there, over-looking Mordor, but a sense of forboding was felt inside you. As you looked over Mordor, a great green flash appeared to come from Minas Morgul, just beside Mordor, and it shot into the sky. Pippin looked at it frighteningly and Gandalf held him. But your head was ringing and you held your head forcefully.

“He know’s you’re here Herenya.” Gandalf said, “He is going to play mind games with you. You will have to fight him, hold him off ‘til his armies are beat and Frodo has destroyed the Ring.”

“How?” you asked, finally letting go of your head as the green flash disappeared.

“I don’t know. We come to it at last. The great battle of our time. The board is set. The pieces are moving.”

Gandalf took Pippin out of the room. You stayed in, and thought of how you were going to fight Sauron.

*It’s impossible.* you thought.

“It’s not fair. But he’ll let me know when he wants to play. I know he will.”

Later that night, you and Pippin were sitting on one of the beds in the room. Pippin had told you all about how he started the signal for the beacons. After that you sat in silence, until Pippin broke it,

“Are you ever afraid, Herenya?”

“All the time.”

“Of what?”

“Of everything. Of Legolas dying. Of Gondor not accepting Aragorn. Of Glorfindel and Ada not accepting my choice in Legolas. Of Middle-earth falling to Sauron’s rule. Of dying myself. Of not being able to play Saruron’s mind games. What if everyone blames me, Pip, if the world falls to Sauron? I don’t want any of this, I don’t want to have to fight Sauron, I don’t want these powers.”

Your hands were shaking and by the time you finished you were speaking really quickly.

“It’s okay.” Pippin said.

“It seems we’re both out of our element here, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, I’m almost regretting coming along.”

“You’re wonderful, Pip. And I do believe that you’re going to do something to save someone, and you’ll be a great hero.” You grabbed him into a tight hug.

“I’m frightened, Herenya.”

“We all are.” You whispered.

“Herenya, can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Of course you can, Pip.”

You and Pippin crawled into the bed and he just looked so sad, your heart broke.

“Herenya, can you tell if Frodo and Sam are all right?”

“I don’t know if I can, Pip. Perhaps I’ll try tomorrow.”

“That would be perfect.”

You blew out the candle and the room went black.

“Pip?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I’ll be a good mother?”

“You’ll be amazing. You’re the most beautiful, kindest, caring, wonderful person I’ve ever met.”

You planted a kiss on his forehead and you both fell asleep.