One Voice (Finished)

Chapter Thirty Two

As I picked up my phone I thought about what I said that night. "We need a break." "You blaim everyone but yourself." I need to see Shana. I need to go back to New York.

*Shans P.O.V*

"Shana, you have a call." someone said while knocking on my "room" door. I hopped up as quick as I could.

"Who is it?" I asked while opening the door.

"Your father." Ive been waiting for this call. Julia walked me to this very small room which had a small table, chair, and phone.

"You will be monitored and watched, be carful."

Be careful? what am I gonna do hurt myself.. That thought made an awkward silence. Julia walked out as I sat down and grabbed the phone.

"Hello dad"

"Hey sweetheart how are you?" I could tell he was happy by the cheerfulness in his voice.

"Theres been better days." I said with a sigh.

"I know hunny I know, so Harry called me not to long ago."

I interupted him. "H-H-Harry called you?"

"Well yes, but not for me. He was looking for you."

My father became silent.

"You told him didnt you."

"Yes Shana Im sorry."

I wasnt sure if I should be angry with my father or be happy with the fact that he didnt lie.

"Its ok dad, Everyone will know sonner or later... Its just a tiny hole in a road."

"I love you Shana." My father said.

"I love you to dad, when can you guys come see me?" I asked

"Where hopeing to go up there tomarrow." My father replied

"Good I miss you all, already."

"We miss you to, Shana?" My father asks

"Yes?" I ask

"Sing, please."

I start singing Taylor Swifts song 'Begin again' thats when I realized I miss singing on stage, 3 in 1, holding a microphone just inches away from my lips, Watching, hearing fans scream. Over us. Three girls from one small town. I start to cry as I end the song.

"That was beautiful," My dad says

"It could be better. I miss 3 in 1, I miss the old me." I sniffle while saying this.

The line goes blank, silent.

I stand up.

"Dad?"

I get a little louder "Dad?"

I scream this one "Dad!?" I sob I throw the phone and push the chair over. I have my fist aganist the concrete wall I bury my face in them. I whisper "Dad...."

Julia runs in with two security gaurds.

"What happend?" One tall creamy man asks

"The l-l-line went silent."

"Oh your fathers fine Shana you only get 30 minutes to talk." Julia says

I clenche my teeth "I need a walk."

"Alright lets go." Julia says motioning me outside.

I walk outside I set one foot on the black pavement and look up at the bright sun, and clear blue sky.

"Julia."

"Yes Shana?" Julia asks

"Whats wrong with me?" I reply with a question.

"What do you mean?" Julia asks

"I mean what I just said, whats wrong with me?"

"Nottings 'Wrong' with you Shana." Julia replys

"Im Mentally insane, Julia theres obviously something wrong with me." I look at her while saying this

"Your not Mentally insane your just experiencing diffrent expressions, Theres notting wrong with you everyone changes how they see things." Julia said.

I look at her thinking back to yesterday when I saw her wrist. I just have to ask her about it.

"Julia. Why'd you cut?"

Julia lifted her head very quickly.

"I'm not supposed to talk about it. But I went through a huge break up at 17 a boy got me pregnant. My parents wouldnt support me or my Daughther so I cut. It realised all my pain I did it for ten years untill Mandi, my daughter found me one night cutting. She was devastated She never looked at me the same way. The day she turned 18 she left with all her stuff. She died in a car crash that night. The last words she told me before she left were 'I love you mom, please stop cutting.' After I got a call from police she died in a car crash I cried I went in my room to cut but instead I listend to Mandis words." Julia wipes away tears "That was exactaly eight years ago."

I look at Julia in shock I put my hand on her shoulder "God Bless." I pull her into a hug. Whos words will save me? When will I have someone I love? Wheres my life gone? Julia had a good reason to cut, but me? No.....