Little Troubles

Part 8-You Will Be Never Alone

The video is by mochimin박니콜 지민  Lost-BTS: I own nothing. all rights belong to the respective creators.

Jungkook stood on the balcony outside his rustic hotel room. Over the last few days, he hasn't come up with anyway, to do things differently than what he planned. He had mulled over his options and realized that somehow he had to do away with his little.

That is a thought he really didn't like. He poured over psychological texts until the words blurred double and now knew why the child him was so unruly. But there wasn't anything he could do about it. He didn't have the type of bravery it would take to one, alert his hyung that he knew about his little self. Two, admit that he had known about him for years, and three, pick one of them to be the little's father figure. It pissed Jungkook off to no end that he might be missing yet something else to make him even a little bit normal. Though, in retrospect, having a nearly second personality that was a frightfully mischievous toddler/preschooler would always make him the very definition of NOT NORMAL. Just ask Dr. Phil.

He walked back indoors slowly closing the outside world out, as he slid the sliding door closed. He glanced around the small living area that was decorated warmly, in splashes of light blues, different hues of beiges, and a nearly translucent orange that brightened the room. He made his way to the small wicker living room set and plopped down in the comfortable armchair. He only had three days left and still, no conclusion for him had been found. To make it worst the little was demanding to be set free. He knew why the munchkin wanted out. They missed their hyungs, especially one.

He had picked this particular place because of the intricacy of the locking system. His little, should he escape, wouldn't be able to leave. He raked his hand through his hair, and immediately pictures of Jimin flooded his mind. How could he miss someone so much in four days??? He really was a mess. But he has to be better than this. He had to find a way to kill this feeling that was burning inside of him before it consumed him. He just didn't know-how. And, he couldn't ask the one person he knew who would and could help. He went to his room and searched his bag until I found his wallet. There was a card there that he rarely used. Well, rarely used now. But, in light of his derailing brain, it was probably a good idea to use it. he didn't truly trust this person, but Jimin did so he did as he promised. He would use the card in times when his head began to spin, like now.

"This is Jungkook, I know it is very early, I apologize for the hour, but I am overseas. I can't get my brain to stop swirling in on itself...." he said as calmly as he could.

"Jungkook, it doesn't matter the time you call. I'm just proud of you for calling. It has been a fair while since you have had a need to talk to me. What is happening?" the deep rich mature voice inquired.

"Dr. Park, I need to get rid of the other identity. I know you said that we were one and the same, but we don't think the same thoughts, and he is a child. He is messing up my life. Since I became aware of him it is little we are now 2 different people who want different things. As if that wasn't enough, I'm having nightmares of Park finding out my feelings along with everyone having to deal with the kid's behavior. My life is going down the flames, and I'm lost on how to fix it. Other than to quit the band, and I can't do that as it will destroy my hyungs...I can barely sleep and the kid is out more than me, and Jimin has been looking at me with sorrow in his eyes...I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO!!!!!!" He rushed out in his native tongue, as his breathing began to increase with every word that was spilled from between his compressed lips and clenched teeth.

Jimin's father, his adopted father, sighed heavily. "Jungkook. Your life isn't a mess. remember when you only sleep next to a door and growl at anyone who approached you? Maybe you remember all the times you woke up screaming like you were being murdered, crying so hard that you made yourself sick...That time in your life was one of the worst periods you had to live through. Everyone is happy when someone survives the things you did. It is rare that they understand the aftermath. In your case, it was your duality first, and then your clinginess to Jimin. Neither is right or wrong, it is what you had to do to survive the aftermath of years of abuse. I know you aren't talking with Jimin the way you should be, or you wouldn't be this distraught or talking to me. Look, son, your child side is a part of you, you say you don't have the same thoughts, but you do; that side of you handles the things that you can't or won't deal with. Until you are able to handle them, he will not go away, and he definitely won't be silenced...not for long anyway. You already know what I am going to tell you. Talk to Jimin, Namjoon, Jin, or Yoongi. In my opinion, they are the best to help you deal with this anxiety. That is the Doctor speaking. The father says...Tell Jimin how you feel. Stop forcing yourself. I would be willing to bet everyone around you know how you feel about Jimin, with the exception of the man himself. All this talk about your child self, when all I hear is, "That I really love Jimin and I can't let him be burden by me, who is so messed up, and that it is getting harder and harder to hide. I love you both, stop torturing yourself, and your child self and finally come clean. Don't try to use your little self as an excuse for you acting out in fear."