A Small Book, a Pencil, and Some of My Thoughts

One Page Rule

I'm wonder if I should break my one page rule. I'm trying to squeeze words and the bottom every time. But it's kind of fun, and helps me separate my scattered thoughts a bit. It helps me focus on one thing at a time, in a way. 

The first time I discovered someone with a writing style like mine, I was in my grandma's village house. My uncle kept his books there and I would inspect every cover in his library to find the few English books scattered among the sophisticated Urdu books. 

My uncle reads, probably more than me. But he's like an old man from a different time. His library doesn't have YA books about girls with destinies and two boys to choose from in between. Or books so iconic and fictional like Harry Potter, that there is a specific fandom for it. He has books about Islam, Politics, History and Biographies. All so proper and adult like. I never understood them, and the ones I did understand made my head hurt. 

But sometimes I find gems among the old books in his library. English books that are right up my alley and some which I would pick up again now since they helped me grow a bit. The most memorable books I can remember from his library is the Ringmaster's Daughter, by a Norwegian writer. 

I was almost shocked when I read that book, every page felt so familiar to me.  The main character, Peter, like myself, has all these stories in his thoughts. He would think of snippets and and different versions of the same story that he almost remembered but forgot so the details changed every time he told the story in his life. Peter, almost always had someone in his timeline who listened to him, so he would narrate the stories in his head. I don't so I simply hear them, imagine them and then forget them. I wonder how different my life might be if I started writing them. I tried once but I'm a terrible writer to I gave up. But in my mind, these stories are sweet to me, with characters I fall in love with and snippets of their daily lives which slip out of my mind when I forget. 

Sometimes I live in these stories, a version of me who is everything I am not. She is smart, kind and has a clever tongue which can form such perfect retorts. Everyone notices her, some like her a lot. She is an important part of their lives and she is missed if she ever leaves. She is the glue that keeps everyone together and she is everything I ever want to be. 

I live an alternative life through her when I think about her. She is the one character I hope never slips out of my mind. I hope I can be a bit like her someday. It's rather tiring when you're a background character who doesn't matter. In Sha Allah one day, Ameen. 

Now that I have reached the end of this piece I must confess, I did plan on breaking the one page rule. Just not with this piece lol.