Ok so I'm just gonna talk for a little while. I'm not gonna worry about sounding poetic or anything like that. It's just gonna be me and my thoughts. Here it comes...
I want to be myself again.
I want to be able to find joy in things again.
I don't even understand why I'm feeling this
way...I'm constantly tired, always seem to be sad,
not to mention bipolar, and I'm so dang irritable! I
can't stand myself anymore! I'm always isolating
myself from others so they don't see the sadness
overflowing from within me. I feel numb. I don't
really know how to explain it but I just know that I
don't like it. The voices in my head are so
overwhelming! I try to make them stop but they
don't care what I have to say. Crying is all I feel like
doing but for some reason life wants to complicate
things again and won't let me. The tears won't
come out! So frustrating! Why won't these feelings
go away?! I wish that I had some motivation. I'm
not asking for a lot even just a little would satisfy
me. When I actually do let people come around me
I have to repeatedly tell myself that I'm ok and
need to smile. It's exhausting. And who said that it
was ok for flashbacks of my past to start popping
up?! Definitely not me!
Where has the joy disappeared to?
