The Last Analects of Jasper James Kaufmann

10. Christmas

Christmas came. Jasper's family had bought a tree from the local Boy Scouts, like every year. Every year they put it in the old beat up stand, which one had to wear gloves to tighten or else get blisters on one's hands. Every year his mother decorated it with lights and glass icicles. His father was Jewish and the family was not religious in either direction, but his mother liked the tradition. So did he, he supposed.

After breakfast they exchanged gifts. It was a modest affair: Jasper had gotten his father warm socks, and his mother inexpensive but pretty earrings. They knew he had very little money and expected nothing more. They got him long underwear and a book, "The Birth of Tragedy," by Nietzsche. It was in German, a touch that must have been orchestrated by his father because his mother only spoke English.

Jasper realized that he would be soon returning to Berlin. What had he accomplished in Merlack? He had wanted to see friends. Well, he had seen Richard, and that was nice. But outside of the party that was it. Had his social life in high school been imaginary?

He spent the day in his room reading the book. Eventually, in the evening, he wandered into the kitchen, where he found his father with a half-empty bottle of scotch, apparently on the verge of tears.

"Jasper," he moaned. "61 and 101."

"What?"

"The Indians. They were supposed to be so good this year, and they finish in seventh place, 61 and 101."

"It's just baseball, Dad."

"But... don't you know?" He took another gulp of the scotch. "The Indians are all I have!"

At that moment, the phone rang.

"I'll get it," said Jasper and went to pick it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Jasper, it's Richard. I'm glad you picked up."

"Oh, hey. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too. Listen, can you come over here?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"I want to say goodbye to you before you go back to Europe. Oh, and I have a little gift for you."

"Okay! I'll come right over."

He replaced the telephone in its cradle and went to get dressed. When he had put on his new long underwear, coat and boots, he slipped out of the house and walked up the steep hill to Merlack Ave. Soon he was at Richard's house. He knocked, and Richard answered.

"Hey, thanks for coming over."

They walked through the house and downstairs to his room.

"So you said you have something for me?" asked Jasper.

"Yes. Jasper..." He smiled.

"Yeah?"

"I took one of the hits."

"Of LSD?" Jasper's eyes opened wide.

"Yep. The other day."

"Well... how was it?"

"Oh, man. I was on another planet."

"Yeah? What was it like?"

"The best way I can describe it is that the filters between your conscious mind and the outside world begin to break down. Everything's more intense and you notice things you usually overlook. In time, you basically experience ego death, as you merge into the world. Euphoria, too. And there's more. It's hard to put into words. It lasted all evening, but there was time distortion, so it didn't seem that long."

"So what's the gift?" asked Jasper, with the uneasy feeling that he already knew.

Richard opened the drawer beside his bed, and took out a small, clear plastic bag.

"Remember how I bought two hits from Toad?"

Jasper nodded.

"Well, I want you to have the other hit."

"I was afraid you'd say that. Listen, I know I'm no saint. Sure, I drink and smoke cigarettes. Yes, I smoked marijuana with you the other week, and enjoyed it. But this is something altogether different! I'm not a druggie!"

"You won't be a druggie, even if you take this. It's not cocaine or meth. Believe me when I tell you that an acid trip is a necessary experience in one's spiritual journey."

"But there have been plenty of successful spiritual journeys that didn't involve drugs. It's not like the Buddha was tripping on acid."

"No, but acid is a shortcut to everything that he did. A cheat code, if you will. Please. Now that I have experienced it, I know that you must too. Take this." He held out the baggie.

Jasper sighed and grabbed it. "Fine. If it makes you happy. But I probably won't take it."

"We shall see."

There was a pause.

"I guess this is the last time we'll see each other before I go back," said Jasper.

"I'll miss you, bud."

"You too. Hanging out with you has been the only worthwhile part of my vacation."

"Looking forward to resuming your new life in Germany?"

"I guess. Honestly, I don't even know where I belong anymore."

"Well, then you just have to keep on living. Everything will sort itself out."

"I hope so."

There was another pause, much less awkward than the previous one.

"Well, I'm going to bid you farewell now," said Jasper, and they stood up and embraced. It was one of Richard's usual enormous hugs.

"So long, Deutschbag," said Richard with a smile.

Jasper returned the smile. "So long."