The Last Analects of Jasper James Kaufmann

12. Sickness

Jasper woke up the next morning feeling ill. His mouth was dry and stayed dry no matter how much water he drank. His head hurt and he had no appetite. He spent the day around the apartment, listening to music and conversing with Abelard, who advised him to take it easy until he felt better.

That night when he went to bed he could not fall asleep. He took another clozapine but it strangely did not work. That had never happened before; it had always knocked him right out. He felt very strange and did not know what was going on with him. Eventually he turned on the light and went to his desk where the legal pad and pen were. He suddenly felt an intellectual vigor and his thoughts began to race. He wrote furiously:

The difference between science and art is thus. Science describes that which would hold true even if humans did not exist to observe it; art describes that which is only true because humans are there to observe it. Of course, almost every discipline in the world is some combination of two; even two-dimensional visual art is based most of the time on hues, which are determined by the properties of light (this holds true too for purely black and white art), and very similarly music is based on tones, which are determined by the properties of sound. The reason why visual art or music is of any artistic interest is obviously the relationship between hues or blacks/whites or tones, but then, that's my point, that it's a combination. Most disciplines are a bit less obvious in this regard, but quite literally the only science beyond classical mathematics that is really purely science is theoretical physics, which is nothing more than mathematics on a very advanced level. Mathematics is the fundamental force behind every aspect of the objective universe. Even theoretical physics is only a pure science as I have described if you're just talking about classical mechanics. Quantum mechanics, since it relies very fundamentally on the concept of the observer, is very much an art form— it's no wonder that many have drawn parallels between quantum physics and poetry. The idea that I have just drawn out, that classical mechanics is pure science whereas quantum mechanics is not, is, in my opinion that I'm sure would be unpalatable to the great majority of scientists, the very reason why no one has discovered a theory that satisfactorily reconciles the two, despite much effort in the field. In other words, I don't think such a theory is possible because of the inherent differences between art and science. Keep in mind, though, that art and science are two equally valid points of view and two different ways of approaching life as humans, just as classical and quantum mechanics are two equally valid and useful ways of looking at the physical universe, and they both have great merit. Is it not, then, the clash between pure science (mathematics) and pure art (humanness itself) what makes life beautiful and fulfilling? Is that not what in fact defines the human condition?

He sat back in his chair. His mouth was still very dry and his head still hurt, but he felt alive in his brain in a way that he rarely felt. He lit a cigarette. When it was done he picked the pen up again, and wrote:

ADDENDUM: Essentially, two plus two would equal four no matter what, in this universe at least, but a dominant seventh chord would not logically lead into the tonic unless humans (and specifically humans; a giraffe or even a chimpanzee does not perceive this) existed. Even if aliens existed on another, very far away planet, this would hold true, because alien sentience is necessarily different from human sentience, an admittedly controversial idea explored to varying degrees in the world of science fiction. However, we don't need to drive ourselves crazy with either objectivism or subjectivism, because they exist alongside one another, and to be intelligent and well-adjusted human beings we need to recognize and embrace both. Hesse understood this. Where I used the words "clash between" above I should have said "contrast between" or perhaps "duality of." I think I had another point somewhere but whatever, I'd rather my brain not explode and start an apartment fire. I mean, really, fuck my brain— this is a decent apartment! Although I guess the survivors could probably use the insurance money.