35 Ways to Say 'I Love You' | Joanne (One Shot Series)

Phalange (Physical Touch)

Bang.

"Aah! Oh, shit!" Dianne pulled her hand out of the dishwasher by her wrist and immediately felt hot pain running down her finger. "Joe!"

Hearing the noise, Joe ran into the kitchen to see Dianne, paler than she'd ever been, clutching her fingers in her hand. Seeing him approach, she held her hand out and turned her head away.

"I can't look" she said, clearly in a state of panic. "Is it broken?"

Joe took Dianne's fingers and looked carefully. "Do you need me to kiss it better?"

Dianne shook her head. "No. It really freaking hurts. I need you to look at it for me."

"I mean, they're still there" Joe said, quickly realizing from the growl Dianne responded with that now wasn't the time for humour. "Your knuckles are bruised and your middle finger is definitely swollen. Can you bend it?"

Dianne tried her best but shook her head. "No" she said, defeated, "it hurts. I can't."

With their freezer still broken, Joe had no ice to offer her. Instead, he ran the tap until it was as cold as possible and soaked some kitchen roll. "Right, I don't have an ice pack obviously so this will have to do. I feel like a dinnerlady." Dianne winced as he wrapped the paper towel around her fingers. "What even happened? I just heard a bang and then you screaming."

"I was just putting a cup in the dishwasher. I must have knocked the door with my hip because it flew shut with my fingers still in it." Now it was Joe's turn to wince. Dianne looked down at her hand, which Joe was still holding carefully. "Do you think it's broken?"

Joe shrugged. "I don't know. I think we should go and get it checked out to be sure. And we should probably go now because I don't have an ice pack to numb the pain."

"What about getting Dr Ranj?" Dianne asked. He only lived around the corner and could be there in a matter of minutes.

"He doesn't have x-ray vision, Dot. We need to get it looked at. There's no point bothering him. I'll order us an Uber and we can head to A&E. While I do that, can you pack a bag? Take the portable charger, maybe a couple of books, headphones, snacks, drinks..." Joe looked up as Dianne stared at him, clearly seeking an answer. "If A&E or Minor Injuries is busy, we could be waiting hours. A possible broken finger will be triaged right to the bottom and everyone else will get seen before you. We need to go, but we need to be prepared for a long wait."

"How do you know?" Dianne asked.

Joe shrugged. "Rugby is really dangerous when you're the smallest person on the field. Chippenham A&E department basically kept a bed with my name on it. Anyway, let's get ready to go."

///

After a quick check by the nurse, Dianne was sent to x-ray. They were warned there was quite a long wait, and so they settled into a couple of seats in the corner. Automatically, Joe held his arms out for Dianne to cuddle into him. He wasn't usually so outwardly affectionate in public, not in an enclosed space like this, but it was one of the only ways he could reassure her that he was there and that she was safe.

Dianne had had worse injuries before. Being a dancer, she was used to it, but it was usually her legs or her feet rather than her hands. He noticed her struggling as she was given a clipboard with a form on it by a friendly nurse, who requested that she fill in the information they would need.

"Do you want me to do it?" Joe asked. Dianne shook her head but cuddled closer into him as she balanced the clipboard on her legs. He rubbed her arm carefully as she tried her best to hold the page without moving her fingers too much.

Dianne quickly put in her full name and date of birth. She scrolled down the page, using the pen as a guide, and stopped at the checkbox section. "Any chance I could be pregnant?" she read out loud. Joe looked around, clearly worried about who was nearby.

"I mean, we're careful" he said. Dianne nodded and checked the 'no' box.

She signed the paper and held it in her lap as they waited to be called. After getting bored of scrolling through her phone, she re-read the form to check for mistakes. One of the boxes ticked by the nurse caught her attention.

"Joe?" she asked, tapping him lightly. "Why does it say I'm having my flange x-rayed?"

It took all of Joe's willpower not to burst out laughing. "What?" he exclaimed as quietly as he could, looking down at the form. Dianne tapped the spot on the page.

"See. Type of x-ray required: proximal flange. Isn't that another word for vagina? Surely someone's made a mistake. Also, how can you even break that?"

By now, Joe was crying. His body shook uncontrollably as he laughed. "Di, no" he managed to say, shaking his head. "It's not flange." He pointed at the word and stared at her, wiping his eyes. "It's phalange."

Dianne closed her eyes and shook her head. She could feel Joe's shuddering body as it shook the seats. "Phalange is not a real word" she said, which seemed to cause Joe to laugh even more. She hit him lightly with her good hand. "Hey. I thought they made it up on FRIENDS. Regina Phalange."

"No, Dot. Phalange is just a fancy word for finger." Joe exhaled and tipped his head back. "Oh, that was funny" he said. Dianne shook her head. "Hey", he pulled her close and kissed her head, "you have to admit that was hilarious."

Dianne nodded and smiled. "Yeah. Plus, it took my mind off my finger for a minute."

Joe grinned and rubbed her back. "Well, yeah. I guess the panic of possibly having a nurse accidentally x-ray your fanny instead of your finger would do that."

"Dianne?" the technician called from the doorway, abruptly stopping their conversation.

Joe got up with Dianne, his hand still protectively on her back. The nurse took her form and took a look at her finger. "Right," she said to Joe, "we won't be long. You'll need to wait here, though."

As he stepped back, the lack of contact between them seemed overwhelming. Instinctively, Dianne wanted to reach back and take Joe's hand. Instead, she followed the technician towards the x-ray room.

Joe sat back in his seat as Dianne walked away. He already had a page open on his phone, with NHS advice about looking after broken or sprained fingers. He had made a quick list of things he needed to get; painkillers, possibly dressings to strap it up with and- most importantly- a constant supply of cuddles.

It was mere minutes before Dianne re-appeared. "We have to wait for the results. She said 10 minutes." As she sat back down next to him, Dianne pulled Joe's arm around her and snuggled into his body.

"Are you feeling alright?" Joe asked, kissing her head quickly."

Dianne nodded, placing her poorly hand on his chest. "Yeah. I just like cuddling with you. It makes me feel safe. And you smell nice."

Joe grinned and kissed her head again. "You smell... like hospital. Was it OK in there?"

Dianne shrugged. "It was fine. I'm just lucky I've got a boyfriend smart enough to read long words." She shook her head. "I still don't believe 'phalange' is a real thing, though."