Complications in Paws and Love

5

Told as Jen Daw
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When I got home I tried to ignore the thoughts swarming my head about to expose my insecurities. I worry that when I start shifting I will not be able to control it since I can not control my thoughts. It was a lot to take in though, why have a nobody, no I don't like that word for Brittany, an outsider's child, that's better, at the alpha to be first shift. Unless they believe they are to be mated.

It made me sad to think about that. I do not understand why but the thought of Clair spending all that time with someone else made me feel terribly lonely and the idea of Brittany mating with anyone from this pack made me mad. Maybe it's some weird judgment I have, but Brittany shouldn't mate with anyone here. I don't know why I feel that way and my mother and father would be ashamed of me feeling that way. It's probably just my instincts reminding me that Brittany is a only half of this pack and half of some other pack, a mutt.

I don't know why but the idea of calling her that bothered me too, probably because I know it's wrong to say that. I don't understand emotions much, especially my own.

I sigh as I pull open my closet, I don't know what to wear. It is a formal event but do I wear a dress or can I skip it? I'm not a fan of the extremely girly things, which bothers my mother to bits. She was so happy to have a daughter, someone to dress up and confide in her. My parents had tried very hard to have children, they had two miscarriages, me, and then my brother. I was not a surprise at all they had planned for me to be the one and only, their pride and joy. But to my parents surprise and delight my mother naturally got pregnant and had my brother when I was five, he nearly ten now and completely healthy.

I pull out my dress, mother got it for the first time I shift. But the issue is, I want to dress for me that day. That is, if I don't shift tonight. I hang the dress up in my bathroom and examine it. The top was a navy blue to the waist with a flowing black skirt part that goes to my mid calf. I have black flats and a black cover up to go with it.

I take a quick shower and put on a pair of sweats and a tank top instead of the dress. I do not want to put it on till it's time to go, that way I will not get it messy. I walk into the kitchen wear my mom is making lunch for my brother and I.

"Lunch is almost done, you definitely need to eat it since you skipped out your window this morning instead of eating breakfast." My mom said softly with a tinge if humor.

"Sorry about that." I mumble before asking the question I really came out to ask.

"So I'm wearing the dress tonight.." I started, my mother turned away from the apple pieces she just finished cutting. "And I was wondering if you could make me pretty to match it."

"Honey, that dress is for your first shift. You cannot wear it twice, it ruins the speciality." She said patiently watching my disappointment.

"Oh I see, you still have hope Clair will be your mate and tonight you'll shift? So your father didn't tell you, I see. Sit down please." She says turning back to lunch.

"Didn't tell me what?" I asked while sitting down at the table.

"Nothing, okay well I guess you can wear the dress and I'll just get you a new shift outfit. If tonight doesn't go how you plan." My mom said placing my lunch in front of me and a plate at another seat for my brother. The lunch was apple slices with strawberries and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Thank you mom! Can you make me pretty to match it too?" I ask sweetly, I know she'll say yes since she loves that stuff.

"Justin!" She calls before looking back at me with a smile. "Honey you are already beautiful, makeup is simply supposed to be like sprinkles on a cupcake. The cupcake is yummy without them but they are fun to add." She finished.

Authors Note
I'm trying so hard to update on specific days again but y'all need to be patient with me, I have WiFi less often now and homework a lot more often and harder.