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Chapter Five - Lex

I try paying attention in English class. I swear I do, but Mr. Henderson makes it so hard. He's usually not this boring, but today it's like he's purposely trying to suck out all the fun. I can't even seem to take notes, which I know is going to kill me later, and instead I find myself doodling absentmindedly.

I almost didn't come back to school today. I ended up falling asleep as I laid on my floor. It wasn't until Lucy nudged me with her wet nose that I woke up. I sat up and Lucy happily crawled into my lap obviously wanting me to pet her. I looked over at the clock on my desk and stood up in a rush, much to Lucy's displeasure. I had five minutes until my next class started, and it takes me fifteen to drive to school. I contemplated playing hooky, but the sensible voice in my head told me it was a bad idea.

I just wish Mr. Henderson hadn't been such an ass as I walked in, but I have gut feeling that he seriously dislikes me. I'm not quite sure why he would considering the semester just started, but I have an inkling that it has to do with my appearance. He took one look at my leather jacket and black boots and labeled me as a misfit who would only cause trouble. He isn't wrong per say considering I did walk in late, but he really doesn't know me enough to categorize me. Stereotypes exist for a reason, and he obviously already has a prejudice against me.

Risking a side glance to my right, I take a look at Blake. He's slightly leaning forward as he scribbles notes while his left hand holds the protein bar I tossed to him. I take a moment to take in his presence, because as much as it bothers me to admit, he's definitely made an impact today.

His long brown afro-curls bounce slightly as he writes. His skin is darker than mine by a few shades, but it looks good on him. It's not a dull or lifeless color, but has some sort of brilliancy to it. I've always noticed it, from afar. Just like I've noticed his eyes. Right now, his eyes are slightly darker honey from concentration, but most of the time his hazel eyes are bright. He also has the longest eye lashes that I've ever seen, and I'm mesmerized by how they brush against his skin with every blink. His nose is slender; his jaw sleek and strong. My eyes take in his lustrous rosy lips, and I can't help but think how they would feel against my own.

Woah. Where did that come from?!

The bell ringing jolts me into reality, and I look away from Blake before he catches me staring. I take my headphones out, swing my backpack over my shoulder, and reach for my notebook. It's only then that I realize I had been drawing the same thing over and over again. The page is covered in dark circles, some are big and have deep ink ridges from the pressure I applied. They look like eyes taunting me and mirroring my own black-consumed eyes. I close the notebook and tuck it under my arm as I prepare myself for the Hell that is to come. Physical Education.

It's not that I mind gym class, because I don't. I like being active and playing sports. I never joined any teams mostly because I wasn't very good and I wasn't serious about them. What I dread is having to deal with the girls in class. They are intolerable most of the time, and it doesn't help that Elizabeth Warren has gym with me. I'm sure she's still has her panties in a wad from earlier, and I don't expect this to period to run without a hitch. Thankfully, it's my last class.

I push open the door to the locker room and am immediately greeted by loud, high-pitched voices. My annoyance level skyrockets. I make my way to the back corner to my locker, where thankfully I'm alone. I open my locker and take out my gym clothes. Facing the wall of lockers, I shimmy out of my jeans and put on black running shorts and try to quickly change into my sports bra and black t-shirt. I didn't exactly want to be topless for very long in case prying eyes see what runs down my chest.

At this thought, my hand travels to the top of my sternum. My fingers hover over the tough skin that curses me every day. An ugly reminder that I'm broken and constantly on the verge of falling apart. The numbness I have been holding on to threatens to collapse, and a gasp leaves my lips as I try to breathe. Wrapping my arms around myself and closing my eyes, I try to slow my racing heartbeat.