Dear Beloved, Love Daniel ❤️

~ july 31 ~

Dear beloved,
It's been 2 weeks since you've been rushed to the hospital. The doctors said that you haven't really moved much and that your pulse was weak. 40 beats per minute. That's 20 beats slower than the regular resting rate. I didn't know what to do with myself so instead of doing something bad that I would regret later, I sought out help. One thing my mom told me to do is write in a journal so that's what I'm doing. Maybe I'll read it to you one day. Speaking of my mom, she's come to accept the fact that you weren't going anywhere anytime soon when it comes to who my love is for the rest of my life. I've been thinking about us for a while. We never formally went on a date, we never formally sat and chatted about having kids, and we never formally entitled ourselves to a relationship. Maybe it's just because the kids are our blood, maybe it's because we knew we would click, back when we met in college. Come to think of it, I don't think we ever finished that song in College Choir. I knew how much you wanted to get your Bachelors in vocal music performance. I knew how much that meant to you. Even though, I had just met you at the time, I knew that you knew exactly what you wanted and how. I could never forget that smile. Everything has changed since we met.

I closed up the journal and set it on a higher shelf so it doesn't get in Dylan or Daisy's hands.
"Daddy, I hungry." Dylan tugged on my shirt causing me to spill formula everywhere.
"Daddy will get you something to eat, first I have to feed your baby sister." I explained to Dylan. I tried to remeasure the amount of formula. Dylan begins to whine.
"No! Feed first! I hungry! I gonna die!" he pulls on my shirt. He made me spill more formula.
"Dylan, quit it, you're making me spill your sister's food." I sternly said. I scooped up the formula and tried again.
"No! Want food! Now!" he continued screaming. I put the small measuring cup back into the tub of formula and sighed from being annoyed.
"Dylan Asher Seavey, I will not tolerate this behavior!" I set down the bottle and picked him up. I put him in his high chair and went back to continue measuring formula for Daisy. I finally got the right amount and poured it into her bottle.
"DADDY!! I HUNGRY!!" Dylan screams and cries. Daisy starts crying.
"Ah shit!" I shout with frustration. I was fumbling things left and right. The doorbell rang.
"COMING!!" I yelled as I poured the warm water into the formula powder. I put the lid on the bottle and shook it up as I picked up Daisy and fed her. I opened the door, revealing a Corbyn.
"Oh hey Corbyn!" I rocked Daisy as I continued feeding her. I looked at her as she sucked the rubber nip of the bottle.
"Uhhhh you busy?" Corbyn mumbled. He looked at Daisy then at me.
"No, no, actually I need help. I can't do this without my other half." I sighed as Dylan continued screaming in the kitchen.
"Is that-" Corbyn stopped.
"Dylan? Yes. He's hungry, but I have to feed Daisy first." I invited Corbyn in.
"I can get him some food. What does he usually eat?" Corbyn said as he made his way to the kitchen.
"Usually he eats apples for a snack, but I don't know when that is because y/n isn't really able to let me know." I closed the door as Daisy finished the bottle of formula. I took her bottle out and set it on the table by the door. I started to sing softly to her.
"Tell me... have you seen a sunset... turn into a sunrise... kiss right through the night... cause-" I stopped because I heard Corbyn singing. He walked up behind me as I set Daisy down in her crib. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and continued singing.
"We should try that sometime... hold you 'till the mornin'... and if I said I'm fallin'... would you just reply, I know you are, but what am I?" I felt his smile as he kissed my neck. I moved away.
"Corbyn-" I felt uncomfortable.
"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" He asked. I looked over to Dylan who was watching us the whole time.
"Is Uncle Corbyn mommy now?" Dylan asked confused. My face turned red.
"Corbyn, I think you should leave..." I scratched the back of my neck.
"What's the matter?" He pushed me to answer.
"Corbyn... I don't wanna be in this relationship anymore. I feel like I need to be there for y/n as much as possible right now since now her and I have two kids and she's in the hospital and I honestly don't even know if she's gonna make it." I breathed out. Corbyn looked like his whole world fell apart. He looked down and then back up at me.
"You're right. I'll go see if Christina wants me back." He sighed as he walked out of the house in a depressed manner.
"Dylan, you don't tell your mommy anything about that when she comes back." I strictly told him. He looked at me in fear and nodded.
"Now go eat your food." Dylan ran back to the kitchen and ate his apple slices. I sat on the couch and let out a big sigh as I plopped down. I leaned forward and ran my fingers through my hair and looked straight while gripping onto my hair.
"Why do I do this kind of shit to myself!" I shouted intensely with frustration. I took a few deep breaths and calmed down.