When darkness comes, in the light of a candle... I write...

Aware...? No.

The worst thing that ever happened to me is that day I looked straight to your eyes and they were of that dark cold green I only used to see in deep cold lakes at winter... Something made your eyes go cold, and you didn't feel like home anymore. You still smelt like your old warm perfum but something about it was different too. It is so sad to see that the beautiful sparkling eyes you had lost their light to become so cold and so obvious. It's also hard to see that they have lost their mystery. All the magic fade away and all I heard inside of you was silence.

We are not kids anymore.

I used to see your soul beautifully shining inside of you, and your breath lighting your chest, but all I can see now is darkness and hate... And fear.

Maybe it's just me, and you just pushed me out of your world for some reason, but I'm sure I never saw you this way before. Do years change men or is it just their true nature which comes out with time? Or is it the whole universe which is lacking love so much that it all turned grey?      
   I'm thankfull to the cloudy sky for sharing my sadness with me. Because we don't especially like to see the sun when nothing's fine.

   Please give me my awareness back, I want to see again, I want to hear, to scream, to move, to get mad and to love... But you know what? No. Let my subconciousness take the control. At least I won't get hurt, feel the grief, hate, feel the pain, suffer, let my demons convince me that it's okay to die alone... Let me be the careless child I used to be, the lost little girl I am, the strong and powerful women I intend to be, and the dreamer I've always been, am and always will be.