Heroin Happy

He knows

Remus's P.O.V

You ever feel like nobody cares? Like you have to be fine because anything less would be wrong. Like as long as you act okay you are okay. Like you aren't allowed to feel bad. As though a weight has been placed on you. You say to yourself I can carry this weight I don't need help. But what if the weight gets too heavy? What if you can't carry it on your own anymore? What then? What do you do then? Nothing because there's nothing you can do... But what if you could share your burden with someone else? Would you?

"HEROIN OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE RUN OUT OF HEROIN AND MY DEALER IS ON A BUSINESS TRIP AND WON'T BE BACK TILL NEXT WEEK WHAT DO I DO? I NEED AT LEAST EIGHT SHOTS ON A GOOD DAY!! what do I do??" I ranted not realizing that I was yelling until I heard a knock on my door. "Kiddo are you okay? I heard screaming..." Patton's worried tone drifting through the closed door. "I'm fine just a little excited!!" I said shifting around uncomfortably and praying I find more heroin soon. I decided to listen to some music. I turned my phone volume up as high as it would go and put my headphones on. I listened to the song medicate because I love it and can relate to it. Then my asshole of a twin brother burst through my door yanked out my headphones and started screaming. "LEAVE THOMAS ALONE I AM TRYING TO HELP HIM WITH A VIDEO BUT YOU KEEP SUGGESTING BAD IDEAS!!" he yelled and I couldn't help but start to shake. I need some heroin now I think as I start hyperventilating weeeelllll shit I have to get him to go away and fast. "W-wasn't me... p-pr-probably th-that crappy b-butthole L-logan... or m-maybe that w-worry wart V-virgin" I said cursing myself for stuttering. "You okay?" he said looking concerned but it was probably just my imagination. "I-I'm great!!" I say waving my hands up defensively smile plastered onto my face. "Alright if you say so... also snake face said he needs to talk to you said it's very important" he walks out and I let the panic take over I need heroin... " shit!!shit!!shit!!shit!!shit!!" I can't stop itching and I can't breathe. I could've sworn I had more heroin behind my posters in a hole in my wall cause I made sure to stock up last time because I knew Remy was leaving for a while. Someone must have taken it. But who? Then Deciet barges in holding a bag filled with something, sees me drops the bag and runs over to me. I start crying but I can't let him see my tears so I bury my face in my knees. "Deep breathes... match my breathing..." he said gently lifting my head. I try to tell him to go away but no sound comes out. "No don't try to talk just focus on breathing..." he whispered into my ear. I tried to mimic his breathing but as usual I screwed that up. I can't even breathe right I'm a fuck up. All I do is fuck everything up. The heroin made me feel happy, it took away the bad thoughts but now I don't have the heroin to save my day. As I finally started to calm down I looked over at the bag on the floor and realized it was my missing heroin... he found my heroin... WHAT WILL HE THINK OF ME NOW?! OH SHIT!! HE KNOWS!! HE KNOWS!! HE KNOWS!! No don't freak out just tell him you're hiding it for a friend... yeah for a friend... "IT'S NOT MINE I'M HIDING IT FOR A FRIEND I SWEAR MOM IT'S NOT MINE!!" I screamed. "Show me your arm then if the heroin is yours..." "I... I can't" "Why not?" Janus said pulling my sleeve up to reveal scars and needle marks gasping at the sight. "Remus why would you do this? Don't you know it's not healthy to do these sorts of things?" "Yes... I know... but I was just so depressed... I started cutting... when Remy found out he said he could help... he let me try some heroin... and he's been my dealer ever since... please Dee give me back my heroin..." I pleaded furiously scrubbing my eyes to stop from crying. "No you need to stop this it's not healthy and until I'm sure your better I will be watching you constantly!!" He said dragging me into his room and making me watch as he destroyed my heroin. I started to feel dizzy I just wanted to disappear. I wanted to be silly willy Remus again I wanted to be that insane idiot who is always smiling, always joking, and always making inappropriate comments. "please... Jan stop it... please..." I hicupped face wet with tears. "This is for your own good..."

~ Time skip to a few hours later brought to you by Patton's cookie obsession~

"I hate you..." I mumbled throwing up more. "Love you too Remus" he said rubbing my back some more. I have been throwing up for 30 minutes now and my chest is starting to hurt, my throat feels like it's burning and I have a huge headache. I haven't gone a day without heroin since the day I first tried it four years ago.