HOW ARE YOU?
The basic question everyone tends to ask at meetings and small chats.But have you ever, really answered honestly?I strongly doubt it.For we always say "fine", the automatic answer everyone gives, without even thinking of what they really are feeling. We reply fine, even if the world around us collapsed and took everything we ever loved with it.
We say fine, even if we have seen all we ever dreamed for fall and turn into ash, even if all the worst possible scenarios have happened to us, even if we had our bones ripped off and our souls burnt.We say fine, even if we no longer know what's fine and what's not. Even if we no longer can remember the last time we smiled or laughed.We say fine, even if overthinking is slowly killing us, breaking everything in our minds and destroying everything around us.We say fine, even if we have lost every bit of hope we once kept in our gardens, even if we have lost every battle.Even if we no longer know who we are, no longer know what to feel.We say fine, even if we're being swallowed into the black hole of depression, losing every ray of faith and hope.
So, I'm asking again "How are you?"
Maybe you're just too scared to hold the fire of your heart in your hand.Maybe you're just too afraid to burn the world, trying to build yours.Maybe you're not brave enough, yet, to fly high and spread the flame of creativity growing within you.Maybe you just haven't realized, yet, that you're a dragon.And not just a simple mockingbird.
It's just a beautiful scary chaos inside, which is slowly sucking my life, one ray at once.And the outside isn't that nice to see as well.Everyone seems to go away at some point, leaving me desperate, alone, diving slowly in depression, losing a bit of myself day after day.I no longer recognize myself in the mirror; is it really me? Is this scary shadow really what I used to be? That lovely girl everyone admired so much?
No, I guess not.
That lovely, loving girl is gone. She couldn't bear life's roughness and wouldn't have lasted long if she survived to feel what I'm feeling, to survive the storms I've been trapped in, and to conquer the hope that has been stolen from my heart, by those who murdered the child within me, by those who slayed every innocent wish I kept inside. But that change made me realize who I am.
YOU ARE READING
A MIRACLE IN DISGUISE
Teen FictionI feel the urge to write, to spill all of my blood over papers, building the empire of my sad madness from the flesh of my heart and the unfinished breaths of my soul. I feel the urge to tear my heart apart and then spread it on paper, write with my...
