Sonic saves the Jews

Part 1--The Mission

It was a beautiful day on Angel Island. Sonic was doing his normal business, running and jumping around, collecting rings and whatnot. He was on his 421st lap around the island for that day, when he got a distress call from his best friend, Tails, on his wristwatch thingy.

"Sonic, it's me, Tails! I just got a distress call from Anne Frank's ghost! Come quick!"

Without a moment's notice, Sonic rushed over to Tails' hangar on the other side of the island, but not before shouting his signature catchphrase, "Gotta go fast!" and soon, he had met up with Tails.

"So what's the situation, buddy?" said, Sonic, a proud smirk on his face.

"Anne Frank's ghost just called. She told me that your evil twin, Movie Sonic, has been sighted killing a bunch of Jewish people!" replied Tails, frantically.

Sonic's smirk morphed into a frown. "Wow, what a piece of shit! I can't believe that faker would go and do something like that!"

Then, Sonic turned to the camera, and said informatively," Kids, it's not okay to go killing Jews, or anyone for that matter! Jews are people just like you. They just believe in different things!"

"Wow, that was kind of shoehorned in there, Sonic. Maybe you should've saved that for after we beat Movie Sonic."

"Shut up, Tails! How else is this gonna go up on Wattpad unless we have some sort of moral?"

"I guess you're right, but--"

"Of course I'm right, you idiot! Now let's go stop that faker!"

So, finally, they fly over to Movie Sonic's hidden underwater base, where he's set up a bunch of traps all throughout. But Sonic was able to break through them all, because he is cool.

Meanwhile, Movie Sonic was enjoying a nice cup of souls in his neatly decorated office, when Sonic and Tails suddenly bust in through the ventilation system

"Uhhhhh......meow?" said Movie Sonic, looking shocked.

"Don't give me that crap, faker! The jig is up! Now free all those Jews!" demanded Sonic!

"hehehehehh.....You're too late! I've already killed the last one, and the only way to bring them back is with the Chaos Emeralds that I sold off to Eggman! Now my life goal is complete!" replied Movie Sonic.

Movie Sonic then picked up a gun from his desk and shot himself in the forehead. He was dead.

Sonic and Tails looked on in utter indifference. "Well, that solves that problem," said Sonic.

Tails agreed. "Yeah, until the redesign. But we still need to resurrect the Jews! Didn't he say that he sold the Chaos Emeralds to Eggman?"

"You're absolutely right, little buddy! Now let's go!"

They make it to Dr. Eggman's lair on the volcano. There was a big monitor on at the door, and suddenly, Dr. Eggman appeared! "Ah, Sonic and Tails. Let me guess, you're here for the Chaos Emeralds so you can revive the Jews."

"Wow, that's exactly right," replied Tails. "How did you guess?"

"I read all about it on Twitter.com. Anyway, if you want these emeralds, you can't have them! I want to use them to destroy that meddlesome Dr. Cortex's tower once and for all, and I don't need you fools ruining everything like you always do!"

"Well I guess we'll just have to take them by force!" said Sonic, readying himself for battle. Suddenly, a dozen turrets all pointed toward our heroes popped out of the ground.

"I'd love to see you try!" laughed Eggman.

So Sonic and Tails left in a hurry. "What'll we do now, Sonic?" asked Tails on their way home.

"If we're ever gonna get past that door and into his lair," said Sonic, "we have to assemble a team of epic gamers like ourselves! Luckily, I know just the plumbers for the job!"