Sonic saves the Jews

Part 4--The Final Battle

A lone figure stood in the midst of all the rubble. A strange creature with fur a fiery orange, and a floating companion.

"WHOA!!" he cried again.

The dust settled...and the figure was finally revealed...it was Crash Bandicoot, and his mask friend, Aku-Aku!

"What Crash was trying to say was, hand over those Chaos Emeralds, Krabs, or you'll wish you'd never been summoned!" translated Aku-Aku.

Krabs' heart sank. "C-Crash Bandicoot!" he muttered. "You'll never get a soul outta me!"

"WHOA!!" Crash whoa-ed.

"You asked for it!" Aku-Aku translated.

Crash then donned Aku-Aku and tried to run through Mr. Krabs, but Krabs was too big to be affected by the powers of the mask.

Crash then spun off-screen, and Aku-Aku said, "We'll be back in a minute, folks. We've gotta go fetch someone."

"Who are they going to go get?" said Tails.

"Don't worry about that now, buddy! We've gotta get those Chaos Emeralds and save the Jews without dying!" said Sonic, determined.

"Oh, yeah, I kind of forgot that was what we were trying to do..." Tails replies.

So they ran off outside of the lab, with Krabs trailing behind. They dodged all kinds of obstacles, like trees, rocks, and spikes.

"Sonic! When are you gonna take out the trash like you're supposed to!?" Amy bitched.

"Shut up, bitch!" Sonic replied, while adding 'responsibilities' to the list of things to be dodging.

All the while, Krabs followed behind, with his iconic walking sound effect. "You can't outrun me this time, boy!" he yelled.

Then, finally, they reached the shores of the opposite side of the island. Since neither of them could swim, and Krabs and his minions of darkness rapidly closing in, they were trapped, with nowhere to go.

"Well, I guess this is the end," Tails said, even more defeated than last time.

"I'll really miss you, Little Buddy," replied Sonic, with tears in his eyes.

They braced for impact as Krabs and his forces drew near...

And they stopped.

The two speedsters looked in front of them, and one man--or, should I say, "dragon warrior"--had stopped Krabs and his army dead in their tracks.

"Ski-doosh," the warrior said.

And then, a wave of pure energy swept across the island, nearly breaking it in half.

As the smoke cleared, Krabs and his entire army was gone without any trace. Only the mysterious figure was left standing.

Just then, the figure turned to our two heroes...walked up to them...and said...

"Yo, what's jablins, jables?"

It was Po.

Sonic and Tails couldn't believe their eyes.

"Oh, yeah, and on my way over, I got the Chaos Emeralds and revived the Jews for you. You're welcome," said Po, being extraordinarily humble.

Sonic and Tails looked behind them, and, true to Po's word, all of the Jews that Movie Sonic had killed were standing behind him.

"Yeah! Thanks, Po!" Sonic cheered, with Tails and the Jews following suit.

"NOT SO FAST!" shouted the Mario Brothers, now damaged from the explosion.

"Mario and Luigi? Where did you come from!?" said Sonic.

"That's not important!" said Mario. "You think you can just kill our lord and savior and get away with it!?"

"If you think you're getting off Scott-free, you've got another thing coming!" threatened Luigi, prepping for battle.

Just then, Crash Bandicoot and Aku-Aku span them away and they lost the battle, and that's why Crash should be in Smash Bros.

"Hey, what's up guys?" greeted Po to Crash and Aku-Aku.

"Wait, you and Crash know each other?" Tails

"They were the ones who brought me here." Po answered.

"Whoa!" whoa-ed Crash.

"Crash and I knew that Po here would be the only one powerful enough to stand up to Krabs and his army." Aku-Aku translated.

"Whoa!" Crash whoa-ed again.

"Now it's time for a shitty dance sequence!" translated Aku-Aku.

And so Sonic, Tails, Crash, Aku-Aku, Po, and all of the Jews danced to various bad pop songs. Meanwhile, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong are singing other songs from their show in heaven, while Krabs and Movie Sonic are rotting in Hell somewhere, Mario and Luigi decided to drop the whole cult thing, Bowser went home and spent time with his kids, and Eggman found a cure for cancer to make up for his horrible deeds.

I guess the real Sonic Saves the Jews was the friends they made along the way...or it was inside them all along, I dunno. I'm tired. I wanna go play Rayman...

...and Sonic never did take out the trash...

THE END

if any of my friends are reading this, please don't tell an adult