Always

It turns out..

- really sorry for not updating for so long ily. -

Stana woke up in the arm of nathan. It took her a minute to remember what had happened the day before. She could still perfectly image it like it had happened just moments ago.
"Stana, Goodmorning." Nathan said as he got up and headed to the bathroom. Stana suddenly felt a sharp pain in her stomach. "Ooh." She sat up and looked down. the white bed sheets were stained with blood. "Nathan!" She screamed. He ran to her side of the bed and saw the blood. He quickly carried her to the car and they drove to the hospital.
The rushed through the double doors. "Help! Please."
A nurse with wavy blonde hair rushed stana into a wheel chair and off to a nearby room. She lay in the bed as a male doctor walked in. He took an ultrasound of her stomach and frowned as the image came onto the screen.
"What is it." Nathan asked nervously. What's going on."
Stana felt a wave of dispare wash over her as she knew what the doctor was about to tell them.
"Miss katic, Mr. Fillion." The doctor said. "I'm so sorry to have to tell you that your baby has died."
Kate's eyes filled with tears. "No. Please no."
Nathan grabbed her hand as the doctor left them to take it in. They sobbed with each other for at least 10 minutes.
"Nathan what are we gonna do?" She managed to get through the sniffles and tears.
"Were gonna get through this stana." He said looking into her watery hazel eyes. "I love you ok."
She smiled a little, "I love you too."

The doctor walked back into the room and told them they would have to push out the baby early, and that Stana would be given a special medicine to help.
"We'll do it this afternoon." The doctor explained. "I'll give you the medicine now and again before we push. I'm so very sorry about your baby miss katic, and mr. Fillion."
"How did this happen??" Asked nathan.
"Well, it turns out the accident you were in a few months ago damaged the embelical cord. It wasn't much of a problem at first but then it got clogged up and cut off the air supply to the baby." The doctor said.
They both were so devastated they could barely think. They were so happy to be having the baby even though it wasn't planned.
The doctor gave Stana the medicine and a few hours later it was time to push. After the baby was out she lay in the recovery center for about 30 minutes. Nathan paid for the hospitality and they went home.
Stana was exhausted. Mentally drained. She was so devastated and horrified. She never imagined she and nathan would lose their baby. Never.
This all was too much to handle.
"Hey babe I'm gonna go to the store and get something for dinner." Nathan said peaking in the bedroom where stana was laying. "Okay," she tried to smile but nathan could tell it was fake. He just frowned and left the loft.
She drowned herself in her own thoughts. First she finally got together with the love of her life, she almost ruins the show, Seamus 'dies' and is now missing, and now she lost her baby. She felt like one big disappointment. Then all of sudden, she lost control. She walked to Nathan's desk and took out a pencil sharpener, used a hammer to smash it apart. She held to blade in her palm and started to reconsider, but didn't. She slowly pushed the blade down on her wrist, feeling the cold metal rush chills through her veins. She dragged the blade across her skin, leaving behind a trail of blood. She kept doing it until she forgot the pain of everything else. She slipped out if her depressed state into one with only her, and the blade.