His Angel | P. Jimin

47

Sugar's POV:

Pain might be a cursed feeling, it would only bring sorrow and...

And what?

Can someone really describe what pain is about? As they can describe happiness...

Pain is a part of life, the hurting is part of our system... without pain, no one would have survived a single problem.

The irony about the physical pain, it is something you can bear as long as you are still breathing. It stops once you die or lose consciousness.

What about the mental pain?

If there is an afterlife, would we lose our memories? Or will we "live" with the same old hurting?

I am having these thoughts as more flashbacks came rushing to my head.

I don't know if I am dead or just sleeping, because it feels like a dream: I am swimming on this long frozen lake. I am still swimming on my back.

The feeling of keeping my head on top of the the frozen water was so scary. It felt as if letting go would make me drown.

Tell me how it feels? Thinking you could drown if you stop swimming, not knowing what's going on.

I'm looking at the sky as it is as blue as the deep ocean water, it was weird as snow flakes continued to fall all over me... it was certainly a dream.

I can't move my body, my muscles are tense, it feels if I try to rest I would drown... but I'm getting tired.

I hear voices in my head from time to time, I heard Jimin's voice once. I felt a warm grip on my hand..

I don't know what sleeping feels like, too many thoughts are eating up my mind's thinking.

What is love? A feeling? A devotion? A need?

I honestly don't know anymore... was it love that I felt for Park Jimin? Was it just a need to be with someone?

How can i be so sure of being in love if i have never felt it before?

I started to get flashbacks, of the other me..

Who am I, truly?

Which one of me is me?

Things such as wearing lingerie came rushing to my mind, dancing as I was almost naked on stage... kissing Luis...

I would like to know If these were just nightmares or reality...

But everytime i "remembered" something like this thing it felt realistic...

My heart would start beating rapidly...

From the night everything started, 'till the night everything ended.

Was it all real? Am I real?

Who am I? I don't know me..

I'm so numb with myself. This lake seems unending and it feels like I won't hold back anymore...

I'm scared of death, who wouldn't be?

I don't know how it would feel to die. I don't know what to think of... I don't know how much time have passed by since I started to be in this state... I want it to stop...

Maybe I can do some effort to exit this freezing-cold water.

Maybe it would hurt but again, what is pain?

Is it an illusion? A real feeling?

Who knows?

Again who is "who"?