Ambi One Shots

Coming Out Of My Cage

By: slugpostage

TJ bursts into his sister's room. "Amber, I like a boy."

Amber was lounging on her bed, a fluffy pink pillow under her chest and a J-14 magazine in front of her. "Congrats," she replies lamely, turning the page of her magazine.

He falters, expecting more of a reaction. "Wait, you're not-you're not mad?"

She shakes her head, "TJ, I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian, so I don't think I could be mad if I tried." She closes the magazine and sets it on the white shelf above her bed, sitting up. "So, Thelonious ," Amber says with a chuckle, "who is this boy you speak of?"

"Uh...Cyrus Goodman?" He replies slowly. "Um, I know you two are friends, so I don't know if he's, like, off-limits, or-"

Amber interrupts his rambling, "Teej, relax. It's cool."

"Okay." TJ lets out a sigh of relief and fiddles with the hem of his pants, a habit he picked up from Cyrus. "That was...easier than I thought."

After a pregnant pause, Amber speaks up. "Do you wanna...do you wanna talk about it or something?" She asks slowly.

"Please."

Amber scoots back on her bed, grabbing the pink pillow she just laid on and pulling it to her chest. She pats the spot next to her, and TJ moves to sit down. She lifts her peach comforter and he wordlessly slides under it.

"I dunno, Ambs, I just thought this would be more...monumental or something," he says. "Like, I'm g-" The word seems to be stuck in his throat. "I like boys," he tries. "And that's not really something that's widely accepted."

"Being gay isn't the same as being allergic to peanuts, Teddy," Amber deadpans. "It's not something that's going to be a dinner-table topic."

"Yeah, I know...I mean I just kind of thought it'd be easier , y'know? Like..." TJ turns to look at his sister. "I'll be in the locker room with the guys on the team, and some of them just start...they start making jokes , and I can't really-sometimes I just feel wrong for just being there because I'm the punchline of their joke and they don't even know it. I just want it to be easier like it is in the movies."

His sister shakes her head, "I hate to tell you, but I don't think it ever gets easier. And it doesn't always happen like it does in the movies." Amber pauses, "Honestly, I think that'd be pretty shitty."

"What do you mean?" TJ asks.

"I mean, like-" Amber sighs and starts again, "Okay, imagine this is a movie." TJ nods, and she continues, "So, you're gay, right, and you aren't out yet. You have a crush, but you can't tell anyone because you're not out. Who knows why you're not-maybe it's not safe, or you're just not comfortable with anyone knowing. One day, someone finds out, because people always find out in movies. Now you're out before you're ready, and you feel obligated to make a big speech and 'own your truth' or whatever." She rolls her eyes at that.

"The point is, I'd rather you come out in the way that you want when you want it to happen. So this-" She slings an arm over his shoulder, "is more than okay with me."

TJ smiles and hugs her. "Thanks, Ambs." As he pulls away, it dawns on him. "Wait, you're a lesbian?"

Amber flushes and looks away.

" Dude !" he exclaims. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't really your business," she replies, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Did you just miss the whole speech I just made?"

"Well, no, but I don't-is that what you meant by 'it never gets easier'?"

She nods, "Yeah..." Her gaze moves to meet TJ's, "I tried. To suppress my feelings, I mean."