Only Human

2.3

AHHHHHH! I'm in college! It's so rough. Well, not actually. I'm being dramatic. But it has been super hectic. About two weeks in I wanted to drop out, but I didn't! I live in an apartment and my roommates are actually amazing!! I love them all so much! I am so sorry it had taken so long for this update though, I genuinely meant for it to get out like three weeks ago but I didn't feel like it was long enough! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! -JCM

My tender mercy came in the form of Michael bringing me a hot chocolate to class the next day. 

"Are you okay, Viola?" He asked kindly. I smiled tightly at him. 

"Not really," I replied. His shaggy blonde hair was sticking up all over the place and he had his own set of bags under his eyes which made me feel like perhaps I wasn't the only one of us struggling. 

"Oof." He said it with such sympathy, compassion, and feeling that I was stunned into helpless laughter. He eventually joined in. 

"Are you doing alright?" I asked him through my tears of mixed mirth and exhaustion. 

"Not really," He grinned. 

"Oof!" I repeated, patting his shoulder. 

"I've noticed you've been a little sad lately so I brought you a hot chocolate," Michael said, sliding the drink over to my desk. I gasped, smiling widely at him as my poor eyes teared up again. 

"Thank you!" I gushed, taking a sip. I closed my eyes as feelings of warmth and comfort that I associate with hot chocolate surfaced. 

"It was no imposition," He simply stated, pulling out his own. We sipped our comfort drinks in mutual feelings of general blah-ness. "I remembered you saying you prefer this to coffee and decided we both deserved a pick-me-up this week."

"That's really fair. Do you want to talk about your week?" I asked him quietly, so as not to disturb the class.

"There's just a lot going on at home. My little sister is struggling with suicidal thoughts and I feel completely helpless all the way out here," He confessed, avoiding eye-contact. My heart broke for my friend. I couldn't even imagine what he was going through. 

I recalled a training from my senior year of high school in which we were taught that validation was the key to being helpful, not advice. Not that I had any advice to give him in the first place. 

"I'm so sorry that's happening to you. You're allowed to be upset," I told him, rubbing his shoulder. He sent me a small smile. 

"Thanks, Viola. I just worry about her. She's only thirteen. She's got so much life ahead of her, and I know that middle school is hard but there is always bright spots in the future. I just pray that she can see that." He teared up a little and I gave his hand a squeeze. I wasn't sure what else to do except listen. 

"What about your week? You look like you've been run over by a train. No offense," He added. I flushed red at the sudden attention shift but decided to share a little bit. 

"My grandma is dying. She has cancer and she's refusing treatment. And I love my boyfriend, but I haven't been able to see him all week and I could just really use a hug from him," I confessed, shaking my head to hide the tears in my eyes. Michael saw them anyway. 

"I'm so sorry about your Grandma. Have you told your boyfriend that you could use a hug from him? I know that when I get a hug from my mom it makes it feel so much better. I'm sure if you just tell him he would make it a priority," Michael asked. 

"He's got a lot on his own plate right now, and I don't want to burden him with my own problems," I explained. 

Michael was shaking his head before I had even finished my sentence.