"Nita!! Nita, listen to me please!! Stop walking away from me, will you?!"
He was screaming, probably getting red and eyes brimming up. I could totally imagine him without even looking at him. I felt a painful throb in my heart just feeling him this close and hurting. Why?! Why would he have this effect on me? Why would his presence weaken the walls I had created against him?! No, this needed to stop. I am supposed to be over him. He is the reason for my biggest pain after all. He is why I still feel guilty waking up every morning....
"Just what do you want? Tell me! Money? Houses? Probably mansions?? Name what you want to leave me alone. Like for goodness sake. My daughter and I don't want to see your face EVER again!" I lied. I wanted to see him everyday. I wanted to stare at his face every morning sleeping beside me. His messy hair and closed eyes. Eyebrows relaxed and lips curved in the most perfect position I have ever seen. But now he has lost the right. I had lost it too. I no more deserved to be happy. No more to be bliss.
"Why? If I may ask" He frowned. His eyes seemed to be derived of sleep. And his hair was a mess. I wanted to run my hands through his hair. I wanted to rub the tears now falling off his eyes. But I had mine to rub first. My daughter's to rub second as she was also crying as I was holding her hand.
"Why Rom? Why should I explain? You should know my answers better. You should ask yourself why before asking me! I always gave you reasons and explanations but I don't think I need to do that anymore." I don't have the need to explain to you each and everything. We are NO MORE married. I wanted to add to the already harsh and bitter words I had already said but I would not. I could not because each and everything I said was a lie. It was all a lie when I said I didn't want to give him reasons when the fact is I want to give myself to him AGAIN.
"So what do you want me to do? Tell me now. Tell me and I will do anything. Anything at all. As long as I have you at the end of the day. As long as I can hold you in my arms. As long as I could repent more than I have already and show to you my genuineness. Prove to you that I am no more that fool and idiot who left his son, wife and daughter to go and fulfil his career dreams. Please Nitara, I beg you." I could see that he was being honest in his hazel eyes. I could his confidence in himself-that he could do this-shattering in his eyes. I saw the pain visible through his eyes. Oh how I loved his eyes. They showed all that he wanted to say without him speaking a word through his mouth.
"No! Control yourself Nita." A voice in my head kept on saying. "Don't let him break your walls. Show him you are too strong for."
"No Nita, you know you love him. You need him and you know just need to listen to your heart." A voice in my chest said. My always troubling and conflicting two friends (invisible should I mention) kept on debating inside me.
I stared at the ground trying to convince myself to listen to the voice in my head and not let my heart beat it.
YOU ARE READING
Hold Me
Romance"Second chances, are they that hard, Nita?" he asked after fifteen years of our relationship and three years of his confusing disappearance. He went... somewhere I didn't know and still don't know as I was seeing him for the first time after that lo...
