Gloomy River

Chapter (3)

School was suppose to mature me by education, but unfortunately it's slowly pulling the soul out of me, i get stressed in school, so much hate against me, i'm different than other kids in my school, i'm ambitious, mysterious, i don't socialize, i have no squads and i have no friends more than 3 people, i guess thats why everyone hates me, not to mention that many people in my school committed suicide cause they've been bullied a little, i'm the only one who kept my sadness to my self, i'm unsure why do they want others to die, it's like shooting gun at someone but with words, so i guess i'm a quiet long-suffering person!
I spent my whole life reading novels and poetry, i borrow from the library at least 3 books a week, i have strong passion for reading, it drives me away from reality just like my gloomy river next to my house.
I usually like to paint on canvas board, but if course, in front of that lake, mostly drawing my imaginations, i see bright side of pain, it makes me a better person, its my theory, it might be weird, but i have my own theories and ideas, i learn a lot from my pain and fears, to be honest i actually don't have a specific type if fear, my only fear is to lose my family, nothing else, i don't care if i loose myself or my pride, i already feel indignity, so it doesn't really makes difference.
I have to admit, i'm awkward most of the time, i don't like to eat, i self-harm, i have no feelings towards parties, i'd rather spend all my time at a classical opera concert than modern teenage wasted parties, it might be awkward for most of kids my age, but it's just my personality, that's the real me, i admit that i'm hated, abandoned in my school, but it's better than being loved for being fake, unlike my sister, she kills herself everyday to be loved by others, she also thinks i'm weird, i don't know why that specific type of people hate me, but i really don't care.