All The Pain Endured

A Dark Hole

It's almost like you have a second job. The moment you were born. You have a job, you owe the world for being born. No one cares it isn't your fault. It's your problem now. You have to deal with it and no matter what the world tells you...know that you are alone. You are alone in this world because the job that's assigned to you is the hardest thing you can do, but you have to do it by yourself.
You have to live. You have to live not for yourself or someone else or even god, but for the world. You have to carry on and smile. Nothing can be wrong with you and if there is then you have to pick it up and keep moving. Wanting to die and not continue to live is seen as weakness to the world.
You'll question if it's wrong for someone to feel sad for you? For someone to love your fucked up brain? Everything will become a question and everything someone says is questionable. How do they know what's wrong and what's right? How do they know what's serious and what's not? All because they say so..? They've decided the rules and you have to simply follow.

If your one of them you'll grow up and learn the ropes. You'll be happy but not truly. There will be this pit in your stomach and that pit is their motivation. It keeps them going instead of falling and they claim their happy. Although, most of them end up dead when they are elderly because of medical conditions they didn't want to fix. Want to know why? That pit was becoming a bleeding hole that they could never patch up, but if your like me your doomed either way. You'll probably die young or continue to live, wishing you were dead. It's worst.

Your too scared to die because of what the world will think of you. Your scared whether there's a heaven or hell. Your scared once your gone no one will care. This is worse if your like me. You endure all of these thoughts in your head and you also become distant from the world. They don't understand you. Your a waste and belong in a hospital when truth is, we all do.
However, we are the ones institutionalized because we give up in our minds and it is seen from our outward appearances. Only few will catch on. Only few will know your hiding a ugly darkness of yourself away and they will point it out. They'll see it from your eyes.
Eyes are windows to our soul they say. And "we" don't have any. The glimmer in our eyes is a sprinkle of hope we wish we had but it jus glimmers there. That's how they can tell. They can see past the glimmer, and then know our true form and thoughts, which is darkness and to die.