down where it's wetter | KOOKV

just look at the world around you

Dreams are so surreal yet so vivid, sometimes when you wake up, you remember every single detail of your dream, but just as you were brushing your teeth, when you so desperately tried to recall what you've dreamt of, you forget them all.

Taehyung has been having the same nightmare for years now. Ever since he was nine. When his grandpa had passed away, he was lying next to him, sleeping soundly. It had been a summer night, when he visited his grandparents, who lived somewhere in Bermuda. Taehyung had visited them every year without fail. His grandpa had taught him many things, sometimes about the way of life, sometimes about mother ocean. Taehyung remembers going on a vacation with grandma and grandpa when he was eight, when they took him to Iceland and Europe. His grandparents had told him that they could always rely on the Gulf Stream as a means of transportation. Riding the currents had been a fun experience, one that Taehyung cherished for life.

Taehyung was a clingy kid, you'll always find him clinging onto older mer or Jimin, asking them to play with him. When he was nine, he remembered his grandpa's bone-crushing hug, and the warmth of his grandma's smile when he finally arrived at the Bermuda. On that summer night, his grandpa had taken him to the middle of the ocean, where he said no humans ventured near this region, as the sea witch had chanted the seas, making it impossible for humans to cross. That night, his grandpa swam to the sea surface with him. That was the night when Taehyung fell in love with stargazing.

"See, Taehyung, that is the Polaris. It will always direct you to the North. It's so beautiful, isn't it? Legend says that when we pass away, we become part of a constellation. What constellation do you think Grandpa would be a part of, Taehyung-ah?" Taehyung wished he could remember the soft gaze of his grandpa, but as years go by, no matter how hard he tried to hold onto it, his memory was fading, and there was nothing he could do.

Still young and innocent, Taehyung had failed to decipher the layer of meaning behind his grandpa's words. "I know! The one you taught me! Of course you would be in Hercules, you are as brave as him! You are my hero!" Young Taehyung pointed at the constellation excitedly.

His grandpa chuckled quietly. "I am no hero, Taehyung, you are your own hero. When you get older, you will understand. Love makes you powerful. Love makes you capable of doing things you never thought of, for the ones you love. And I love you, Taehyung-ah." His grandpa pulled him into a side hug. Tiny Taehyung was engulfed by his grandpa's arms.

"Grandpa, please do go to the stars. Taehyung wants you to be here. Always."

"I won't leave you, Taehyung-ah. I won't ever leave you."

His grandpa had passed away that night.

Taehyung had pestered his grandparents into sleeping with him. He had curled next to his grandpa, with grandpa's arm draped across his shoulder. It had been warm until dawn broke, and Taehyung felt a chill running down his spine. The arm on top of him was no longer warm. Cold and foreign, heavily weighing down on him, forcing out the innocence and happiness in the boy.

Taehyung wasn't afraid of falling asleep, he was afraid of seeing his grandpa in his dreams, then forgetting it in the morning. He thought he had been the cause of his grandfathers' death. Although when he grew older he heard from his parents that his grandpa had chronic diseases, and death was only a matter of time. Yet Taehyung couldn't shake away the feeling of dread whenever he thought of his grandpa.

Taehyung's nightmare had always been that same night when his grandfather had brought him to the surface. The ending was always the same. As years had passed, the dream hadn't changed, but his grandpa's face was getting more and more blurry, voice more and more distant. It might not seem haunting to other people, but every time Taehyung woke up feeling small and helpless, feeling his grandpa's ghost touch on his back. Tonight was no different.