When the world gets too heavy, there's no way out. There comes a time when people realize that there's no hope of being forgiven unless you ask. Unfortunately, that one comes too late for many. Matt Smith was one of those people.
"I need you to calm down Mr. Smith, I need you to breathe. Can you hear me? It's okay, take your time. I want you to focus and I want you to breathe. You're doing great okay? Just breathe. I want you to sit down, very good. You're okay. Everything will be fine. Your family know what's happened. I need you to stay calm. Everything is going to be okay."
There was nothing right because everything was wrong in every possible way and no matter how many time the words 'okay' were uttered out of someone's mouth he could never believe them. His hands clawed at his face as he tried to silence his deathly cries into the pillow which already bore so many tears. He scrunched his hands into fists and hit the bed rapidly, not pausing for a second as he wanted the satisfaction of seeing his knuckles bleed out and his hands being torn apart.
-
An alarm buzzed around the house, Matt slowly lifted his head up, groaning, and studied the surrounding world. He checked the time; 7:23. He would be late. He could not be late. No one could know.
It was 7:56 when he left his house, out onto the rainy streets of Cardiff. He was numb to the world, numb to people, he knew it was over. The night before he had gotten news that his girlfriends plane had crashed. He had lost everything. It was their one year anniversary, she'd been flying over to see him. He'd always been told that everything happened for a reason, but he no longer believed that. He barely believed anything. It almost seemed a dream to him, that someone so special could disappear so easily. Just at the click of a finger. He thought they were soulmates - clearly not.
He arrived at the studio, 8:10. Matt avoided everyone and walked to the set. He sat down at a yellow table. He didn't speak to others. No one spoke to him. After around ten minutes, a script and half smile was thrown at him by a young man who wore a green belt, he was told to act. If there was one thing that would make him happy - it was acting. But, instead it made the pain worse. Every single thing reminded him of her. Every step seemed to be an echo of her name. Every song the sound of her voice. He looked around the room and envied other actors who were sitting with people they loved. He had no one.
"You alright?" Questioned Karen, looking at him with concern. He gazed at her but quickly placed his head to look at his feet again, hiding his face of grief and sadness.
"Fine," He murmured, not meeting her eyes.
"You don't look or sound fine," She said, curiosity building in her frail voice. It seemed that people only cared when they wanted to know something.
"I'm fine," he snapped, glaring at her. Matt was too afraid to open up, he didn't want people staring at him with pity, or constantly saying 'I'm sorry' to him. What were they sorry for? Sorry couldn't bring her back. Nothing could.
"Okay," Karen sighed, rolling her eyes. For a single moment, Matt wished to say sorry to her, so he'd have someone to talk to. The thought was quickly dragged from his mind. Relationships had not been good between the co-stars recently, since they'd had an argument. Everyone knew about their argument, they were taking every chance they got to snap or make rude comments about each other. This only added to Matt's troubles, as he could hardly go a minute without hearing one of Karen's selfish comments, which really affected him, but he chose not to speak up about it.
It was only then Matt realized that the whole world seemed to be against him, at least as far as he was concerned. He looked up for a split second, and saw everyone crowded around Karen, no one giving him a second thought. He couldn't do it. He couldn't take it. He need to get out.
He stood up and screamed. Screamed because of everything, screamed because of his family, screamed because of Karen, screamed because of his girlfriend. He was surprised about what happened next; silence. All eyes were on him. Even Karen had drawn herself away from flirting with someone from engineering. No one spoke, not a single breath was taken by anyone in the room. Not one person dared to move, or question him.
Matt walked out.
And Karen followed.
'What the hell is wrong with you?" She glared at him, a menacing look in her eyes.
"I was... Frustrated?" He whispered, making it sound like a question.
"Seriously? Do yourself a favor and tell me the truth, you're a terrible liar," Karen narrowed her eyes at him. Matt stopped for a moment, would it be easier if he told her? Would it help? Could she help? Thoughts raced through his mind.
"Okay," he stated.
"Okay isn't an answer," huffed Karen.
"I'll tell you," Matt said, breathing out a sigh. It only took a minute to tell, but by the time he could say the words of his girlfriends death he looked like he had been dragged through hell and back. His face became red, his eyes became bloodshot. Karen sat there, in shock. No matter how much she'd hated Matt, she realized he needed her. He needed all the help he could get.
"It's going to be okay," she muttered.
"Okay doesn't bring her back," Matt said, though not loud enough for Karen to hear.
--
A/N
This is going to be a very short story (3-5 chapters)
Hope you enjoy :-)
