KIDNAPPED: ERICK BOOK III

Three

Zabdiel still had a few more days here so the bust will be soon. I don't even know how they're going to manage it. But I did my job without question. All I need now is to find a good job and start working. There is no point in going back to school.

I'm too ashamed to see my parents. They'll look at me differently. They'll blame my older sister for steering me into her path. I'm just like her but she's worse. She enjoys this lifestyle. I quickly went back to my room to take a quick shower and I felt so happy to have privacy and to not be timed. I don't feel at edge, I can finally relax.

When I finished I managed to put on a big t shirt that Erick let me borrow again. I had my underwear on as well and that would suffice for the night. I heard a knock as the door and I kind of freaked out, "who is it?" I asked, "It's Erick...Can i come in? I want to talk to you." He said and I sighed and wrapped myself up in the thick blanket. "Come in." I said and the door opened and his cute head peaked in.

He closed the door and I noticed the thing in his hand. It's my journal. He cleared his throat and I looked up into his eyes. For a moment the world just stopped and I saw how pretty those eyes are. He was truly sculpted by god himself. "Uh..um...I have your journal." He said and looked away. Why is my heart breaking?

You're a slut, he can't even look at you.

"I told you you could keep it." I told him. "I haven't read it yet, and I don't want to read it." He said, "O-oh I understand.." I mumbled and he shook his head and he got closer to me. He sat across from me on the bed. "No not like that—it's just you told me it was private and personal and I feel guilty reading it even though you gave me permission. If you'd still like to share it I'd like you to read it to me." He said and handed me the book.

I looked up and he had the most sincere look on his face. I bit my lip and debated whether I should read him something so personal. What if he laughs? It's pretty bad I'm not going to lie. I take a deep breath and I look down and open the journal. I skimmed through them and I decided on one. "This is going to sound pretty bad and pretty sad." I told him, "Poetry is art." He responded.

Wish I could do something right
So words would ring true
Wish I met high expectations
Maybe then I could lose a few

I wish I was not weighted with
Weakness well within my core
If only I was put together differently
Strength would emit from every pore

I create my shortcomings
How am I sabotaging my own goal?
Not trying in the first place
Allowing fear to take control

My heart bleeds in anticipation
Before cuts have a chance to appear
Live my life in apprehension
Assuming danger to always be near

My motionless state of insecurity
Realm of dysfunctional doubt
I forever am encapsulated in time
My skull is a jail and I cannot get out

I finished reading it and he just stared at me. My anxiety was creeping in and I felt so icky. "I know it's bad...." my voice cracked and my eyes felt glossy. I tried to blink the tears away but they streamed down my face. Before I knew it he placed his hand over mine. "It's not bad, it's just..so raw and real. I understand how you feel." He said and I looked at him and rubbed my eyes. "D-do you really mean it though?" I hiccuped.

"It's beautiful but pretty dark. It's really really good." He said with a small smile. "I don't want to read anymore..." I said and I placed the journal on the bedside table. I wiped my eyes again and I heard him sigh. "Oh nena what can i do to help you?" He asked. "I don't know.... I just want to rest so I can prepare for tomorrow." I said, "I'll sing you a song to go to sleep. Is that okay? My voice is a little ugly but I think that'll help you." He said and I nodded and chucked.