Sweaters [hs]

eight

              

         The knock at her door awoke her. She had fell asleep on her bedroom floor, her eyes were swollen; her hair a mess on her head. She trudged to the door, yawning before she swung it open; not caring about her appearance or who was on the other side of it. Noah was surprised when it was Harry, and she was more surprised when he kissed her. She frowned and pushed him away, wiping her mouth.

 “I fucking hate you.” Noah spat, detangling her hair.

        “I’m sorry, I really fucking am. I’m a screw up, I know.” Harry bowed his head in shame, suddenly interested in his shoes.

        “I never believed people when they said how much it hurts to have your heart broken until it was me, lying on my bedroom floor, mascara running down my eyes, gasping for air, and crying. So don’t you dare fucking say you’ve never killed anyone because that night, you killed me."

“I never meant to hur-.”Harry began, before Noah cut him off.’

    

       "I understand though, I understand why you don’t love me back. I get it, you’re too fucked up inside to love anyone else.” Noah seethed, clenching and unclenching her jaw; her eyes showing pure venom.  She waited for him to respond, once his mouth opened to form a response she slammed the door in his face.

-

        IT HAD BEEN three full weeks since the incident with Harry, and she had not moved on. She wondered if Harry had moved on, maybe if he had found a new girl; someone he could love.

        Sometimes, she supposed she was happy. When she was with her friends, throwing her head back and covering her mouth; as she shook with laughter at a joke someone just made. But then, day turns to night, and her carefree grin turns into unexplainable sadness etched on her like a tattoo. She lays in bed, thinking of all the things she wishes she could say, all the things she's too afraid to admit; even with only pen and paper and mind.

          Its nights like these, when she realizes: she is many things. She is happy and sad, outgoing, and shy; rambunctious and quiet.

        But mostly, she's just empty.

Noah was empty, and the only thing that could fill her void was him. Only his green eyes could calm her nerves, only his pink lips could kiss away her worries.

        Noah found herself picking up old habits again; she began cutting. It had picked up to a weekly thing, and she could barely make it through the day without some sort of marking on her body.

                  Adjusting the beanie on her head, she walked through the streets of Portland; admiring the way the lights looked at night. Her boots crunched in the snow beneath her feet, the wind blew her dark hair out of her face.

                She walked up the stairs of her apartment complex, digging in her purse to find her keys; she made her way to unlock her door. Harry was sitting outside on her welcome mat, fingers scrolling through his phone.

        "Oh, you're home." Harry slowly stood in front of Noah.

"Christ, Harry. You scared me." She placed a hand to her chest, leveling her breathing, "What are you even doing here?" 

                "I-I wanted to come see you, to see how you were doing." Harry placed his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.

                "You didn't want to call or text? You can't just show up on my front doorstep, Harry." Noah pushed passed him to unlock the door, November weather hadn't been friendly. 

        "I want to talk to you," Harrys stepped forward, not sure if he could come in or not.

                        Noah didn't respond, she just slowly closed the door; Harry stuck his foot in the door to stop it.

        "Damnit, Noah! I just want to fucking talk to you." Harry raised his voice, throwing his hands in the air. Noah continued to ignore him, looking at her feet; Harry kept talking.

                "Over the past few weeks, I haven't been able to get you off of my mind. I miss you, Noah. When you told me you loved me, I couldn't imagine someone loving me. I couldn't even think of the words to say back to you." Harry paused, not finding the words to continue on.

        "Then why didn't you say it back? Why didn't you say you loved me back?" Noah choked, struggling to hold her tears back.                

               

             “I didn't know how to say it, I can only show it." Harry's eyes searched hers, he took a step closer.

                "Then show me," Noah couldn't take her eyes off of him. 

That was all it took for Harry to rush forward and place his lips to hers, and for Noah to wrap her arms around his neck; pulling him inside, shutting the door.

        Their lips are entangled in each other's and Harry backs her to a wall, his hands traveling under her shirt; his fingertips tracing delicate circles around her skin.                                                                       

                "Let me show you, baby. Let me make love to you."

-

sorry i fell off of the face of the earth   :-)))

oh btw im publishing a new story called tiger either tonight or tomorrow so go check it out!1!!!1!!!11!11!1

-ayanna