They call me names that are not mine,
their voices so loud, they echo in my mind.
No, I am not that,
I try to console myself and put a smile,
hiding my pain is the ritual,
I have to abide.
Yes, I am strong,
but yes I do break apart.
Their labels covering my soul,
making me feel like an empty bowl.
No, please stop,
I beg the voices to stop pushing me to the edge,
cold but sweaty,
still but heart racing,
I pull my hair
trying to not lose my mind,
a thousand needles piercing in my head,
making me feel everything but alright.
I toss and turn,
smack my head on the pillow,
the emotional pain is almost physical,
trying to catch my breath,
aching for help,
I hold my phone to text a friend,
No, you don't want pity,
no, don't send negativity.
I throw my phone away,
the clock striking 3 in the morning,
a dark sky,
indicating it is still no what I was wanting.
I play music to calm the chaos,
I turn the volume up,
It'll be harmful my phone warned,
but the words are screaming louder than any sound,
beating me all black and blue,
with no trace on the skin,
evidence of my agony,
passing me out.
The bird's chirp,
it's a fine morning,
and the tradition will continue,
my torment nights will be a secret
hidden somewhere out of everyone's view.
