Alexandria Woods is the woman who has it all. Starring in every film and TV series possible, she's taking the industry by storm.
However, not everything is as perfect as it seems. Alexandria lives in constant fear of somebody finding out about her...
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We all have weak moments. Moments where our bodies scream at us to do something and despite our minds battle against it, our bodies win and suddenly we're doing something that brings us joy. But the refusal of obeying your mind taints the joy with guilt. It stains it and suddenly, everything inside of you decompresses as the moment you imagine inside of your head turns out to be less than perfect.
My weak moments have been reoccurring as the days have gone by. Each one has gone from lasting a couple of seconds to minutes to hours and there's nothing I can do about it because my body was rebelling. The joy faded away a little bit each time, until my feelings of guilt and sadness merged together into frustration.
I used to be able to control myself, refrain myself. Keep my self calm and cool under watchful eyes but now I'm close to breaking point every time I leave the apartment that has become my sanctuary. It's my safe heaven that has kept me calm in these past weeks. I'm still close to losing myself inside of this frustration, but the slight calmness of being alone helps keep my mind set together - despite it being a scrap of what once was my unflappable personality.
On screen, the characters scream in fear but their reactions don't evoke any feelings inside of me. The smoke billows across the screen and I cross my arms over my chest, folding in on myself as I watch this film for the third time this week. Insidious has always been Alex's favorite film, our favorite film. Weakness found me when I got home from a director's meeting and I found myself putting it on before I could even think about it.
In my grey joggers and white t-shirt, my body feels hot with emotions because of the longing I feel for her. It's been so long since I've seen her. So long since I've held her. Kissed her. Laughed with her. Eaten with her. It's been so long since I've had a spark of joy inside of me I'm beginning to wonder if my body has just ran out of the matches.
I miss her so much but I'm waiting to make a move to see her. For all I know, she's still going to be mad at me. I've decided to give her another week and if we still don't have any form of communication then I'm going over there and telling her how I feel. I refuse to leave our relationship like this when there's still a chance that we could still make this work.
My film continues to whirl along, but I'm no longer surprised by the jump scares anymore, they're meaningless to me as I've watched it so many times. A knock on my door echoes across my apartment and I turn off the TV, my body yet again shouting for me to continue with it and ignore whoever is at the door.
I assume it's Noah coming around again to check how I'm doing so I don't even look at the mirror in my corridor before answering the door. I don't look through the key hole. I don't do anything except fling the door open with no hesitations, letting it bang against door stopper as my breathing hitches from the sight in front of me.
Shivering in front of me, Alex stands with her head held high despite the visible chill going down her spine. Her dark hair is tucked behind her ears, but droplets of water drop onto the floor behind her with an audible tap. Dark clothes smother her body, plastered on by the glue which is the rain. She bites her bottom lip as her eyes flicker nervously to mine, her cheeks flushed from the cold outside.
