Wherever you are || Huiwon

Wherever you aren't •1•

Hui PoV

To be honest I half hoped you would be here so I could finally find you, finally find you after these 2 months of pain and searching after you vanished. But my other half prayed you weren't here and that you were still alive that I could find you healthy and we could go back to the way things were before.
I stood on the railway tracks my hands resting in the pockets of my puffer jacket that was zipped up to the top which rested just above my lip. The cold air bit at my ears and my nose as I shivered. What was I expecting?? It's 2am in April of course it will be cold.
My knees were weak and I trembled at the thought of your body lying in the cold, wet dirt, on the side of the tracks. 74 steps north, down the railroad tracks from the large oak tree in the clearing.
Or that's where the letter said you would be.

I looked over my shoulder at that oak tree, towering above me and the tracks. I sighed. I looked down at my feet and began walking. 1 step ... 2 steps ... 3 steps.
With every step I took my heart grew heavier, what if you were dead? What if I never get to see you again? Ally was swimming around my mind as I counted my steps,
.... 73 steps ... 74. I stopped immediately not taking my eyes of my feet. I didn't want to look. What if you were there? But what if you weren't? I stood still not moving a muscle, my hands still in my pockets and my eyes fixated on the ground. I cried to myself and knelt down in despair, every inch of my being missed you like crazy and the thought of you, lifeless tore me apart. Suddenly I recalled all our happy memories, and how you would never want me to be like this. I needed to collect myself.
I slowly took a deep breath in and looked to my right. It was dark so I couldn't see much but what I could see was your baseball cap, the one I bought for you when we went on holiday in Japan with some of your school friends, it was in pristine condition, cleaner than when I first bought it, it was just laying there, upright the peak facing towards me. I looked further out into the dark wood surrounding the area but I couldn't see any signs of you. I stepped forward and picked the hat up admiring it, a small smile crept across my face as my eyes swelled with ice cold tears. You weren't here, I could feel it,  a tear trickled down my pale cheek, I couldn't tell if that was relief that your corpse wasn't before me or disappointment that my hard work didn't pay off and I still didn't have you, alive, beside me. I looked down to where the cap was placed and noticed a small white piece of paper laid on the ground. I bent down to pick it up. Opening up the paper, shakily, I read it silently in my head.

You really thought it was that easy?
You can't have him back not now, not ever. He's already gone,
Better luck next time.

A/n - so I've never actually written a story before and I honestly haven't got a plan for this one so I could be a bit messy and I apologise for that x