Somno Modo

The Wolf

   While I was living in the same house from the gnome memory, I saw a wolf on the stairs. I believe this happened while I was 3 or 4. It was the fourth of July, I remember going to watch fireworks and sitting at my old church parking lot on a blanket. We were really close to the park where they fire them off and I started feeling really sick. When we went home that night I had a fever and my mom brought me to my parents bed.
   Everytime I closed my eyes I saw these giant color spots like when you look at the sun, probably from the bright fireworks. But everytime I opened my eyes, I saw a wolf walking up the stairs towards the open bedroom door. And I remember telling both my parents about this and being told I was dreaming. But it scared me because the wolf got closer everytime I blinked. It kind of crawled up the stairs in a way that wasn't just animal like.
    Knowing what I know now, I believe I was experiencing my first aura migraine, but as for the wolf I cannot explain that. If this was an aura migraine, it is to this date, the worst one I have ever had. My vision has not since been so massively obstructed during my migraines. I see colors and lightning and sometimes lose vision all together but this thing was massive. We're talking floor to ceiling and maybe eight feet wide as well.
   But why did I see a wolf? I believe my gnome sighting was very real but this is harder to explain. Was I dreaming or hallucinating? Or is it again something that is unseen by adults? Could he have been a Hellhound, come to reap some promise made on my life? It was one of the realest things I have ever seen. But how could I have been dreaming each time I opened my eyes and yet continued to see him. 
   I backed against the wall, my dad started to walk out into the hall. The wolf drew back a step and glared at me as if confirming that I had broke some sacred pact. What if I had not told? Were his hands human after all? I can never remember his paws. Was he coming to collect? Physically it's not possible that an earthbound wolf could have been in my home.
   But the ether works in mysterious ways. Was it Loki, passing his blessing on me? In trying to find answers for any of these earliest experiences, I find mostly none. However, I have stumbled across a book I may wish to read. It is called " The Mind's Staircase: Exploring the conceptual underpinnings of children's thought and knowledge. " by Robbie Case. I thought the title felt rather specific to my life.