Ashiah Symone Bryier
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"bae talk to me" I said sitting on the bed in front of Kentrell
He been quiet for weeks and it's worrying me. Before we got together he use to go through this same phase
I hate it cause I feel what he feel
"Nothing I'm straight" he said with a slight crack in his voice, I sighed and shook my head
"no you ain't"
"I am, I promise"
"you just broke yo' promise and told a lie" I said looking at him "talk to me, you know when I know something wrong"
"I aint happy, I feel empty as fuck" he finally spoke in a low soft voice
"you not happy bout what?"
"All the shit I done been through still fucking haunting me. It's demons on my side and they won't leave me the fuck alone"
Kentrell always told me he had demons on his side. I never really believed him til one night, he got really mad
He flashed out and his eyes turned black.
"I told you every time you feeling like this to come talk to me. Bae don't hold shit in cause it ain't good"
"I can't talk to nobody no more. That shit ain't safe" he mumbled but I still caught what was said
"so you saying youn trust me?" I asked knowing what his answer was gone be
As a delusional person Kentrell sometimes get indecisive bout his answers. Meaning he'll change his mind in a blink of an eye
He don't know what he want and it's hard for him to keep up with what's going on. So he just go with how he feeling at the moment
"No" I shrugged not really caring cause that wasn't my concern and I know he don't mean it
"bae you know you can come talk to me. You been doing that for the pass few years and I ain't never fold"
"I know, I trust you" I chuckled cause he just said he ain't trust me "I just ain't happy with myself"
"You been doing good, you got every reason to be happy. Stop letting yo' past fuck with yo' mind cause it's nothing you can do no more"
"I know — it ain't, it ain't something I think about on purpose. It's just there, like it's a permanent thought . It's a permanent pain that I feel"
"baby you gone be okay, I promise"
"I ain't been okay for the past years. Just cause I don't show it don't mean I'm happy. I ain't never been happy"
"you wanna see a counselor?" I asked before he quick shook his head 'no'
"I'm okay"
"Kentrell you not okay and we both know that" he shook his head
"I — yes I'm is, for real. See" he smiled a little showing his grill "I ain't tryna talk about it"
"okay we ain't gotta talk about it, I love you" he smiled from ear to ear before pulling me into a hug
"I love you too, but I'm finna do some crazy shit. I'm sorry"
I just sat there looking confused cause I don't know what that mean
What that mean and why he apologizing?
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Kentrell ain't been answering my phone calls. I blew his phone up and he still won't answer
He went out of town for work and usually he'll call me or I call him. It goes both ways depending on what's going on
"Stop worrying yo' self bout a nigga" my cousin said mugging me
"Ayanna shut the fuck up, you getting on my nerves. When you get a nigga then we can talk"
I picked up some food and scooped it onto the spoon. I held the spoon up to K'Saun mouth before he made a stink face
"Okay cause everybody pissing me off. I don't know why the fuck you acting like youn wanna eat"
I got up going into the kitchen and throwing the food in the trash. Once I did that I left out going back into the living room to get K'Saun
I went upstairs and packed a small bag for both of us before leaving. Everybody irritating me so I gotta isolate myself to keep my composure
Of course I wasn't gone leave my son with my cousin cause that's stupid. I pulled up into the parking lot of this hotel before grabbing everything and getting out
I put our bags on a cart before checking in and going up to the room
"ma" K'Saun yelled out causing me to look up from my phone. I looked at him and he was just staring
I shrugged not knowing what he wanted before turning my attention back to my phone. A few seconds later he just bust out crying
" have patience when you dealing with my grandson" my momma words repeated in my head
I rolled my eyes and sighed before sitting him into my lap
this finna be a long ass night
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