Yes, sir

CHAPTER 1

CLARE'S POV

"Paris est tout petit, pour ceux qui s'aiment d'un aussi grand amour." - Jacques Prévert

"Paris is so small, for those who love each other so greatly." - Jacques Prévert

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Dear Me,

It's been a long time since I had the guts to speak to you. I would say I was scared, I still am.

We've fallen into a trap already, you know it. The kind that sucks you in so fast you can't even yell "oh crap!".

It's been less than a year, but it feels like a lifetime ago since I lifted my goddamn head from this hole. This was not supposed to happen this way. We were supposed to come here and strive, we were great. Elias not coming and disappearing for a while might have triggered a rough start, but we're better than this.

By the way, he called yesterday. His voice felt silky yet laced with some kind of nostalgia, some contagious sadness. I couldn't help think about him and that's what drove me to write to you, to me; to us.

Before getting into the juicy details of my reunion with Elias and introduce you to Noah, I wanted to write us a quick letter.

Clare, we are in Hell. You know it, I know it, we're literally in it. We lost ourselves in this world, given, this world is colder than we expected it to be, tough; but that's why I'm writing to you, to remind you that we are tougher.

I know our heart is aching because of everything we keep stashed inside, everything we think we let go but stays inside us like a balloon stuck to a ceiling. We thought we had it figured out, maybe not entirely, but partly at least.

We didn't, and the thing is, I don't think we'll ever have it figured out even a bit. Here's why (mind you, you dumb whore, you knew this) : life's only constant is change. If you don't adapt fast enough, you die or get stuck to drugs as we did. If we try to 'figure things out', it's simply never going to work because if things are figured out it's for a moment in space and time.

We have lost the courage to face situations; we have lost the stamina to deal with hardship, and by doing so we lost the very essence of us. We will make it, I don't know how exactly, but we will and even if we don't, I hope we are happy.

Ok now to the good stuff !!!

It's April 2018 today. Special ass day, and we just met with Elias after months of him being gone - strike that, of him 'leaving us at the alter' if you will. He didn't really do that, but that's the closest situation I could use to describe the heart-wrenching, gut-churning, 24h-crying effect his disappearance had on us. We were fucked up.

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August 2017 - Mauritius

"Elias!" I yell for him to come into our room as I frantically continue to roam through various papers that were stuffed inside our drawer. I could not get my hands on his fucking passport and that shit was driving me nuts.

I had gotten over myself and doubts about my relationship with Elias pretty fast - this new chapter was the beginning of an era, my era. We decided that I should have a proper student life (after a shit ton of discussion with my dad) so I was sharing an apartment with Annie, a friend of mine in the 5th arrondissement of Paris.

My boyfriend, on the other hand decided to rent a small studio apartment not far from mine so we could still see each other often. I hated how Elias agreed so easily with my dad on this whole she-has-to-have-a-student-life thing. I didn't want to live apart from Elias, two very logical reasons back up my argument: a. We have already been living together and b. I wanted to live my life as I chose it. But I knew better than to rebel against these two morons because a. My dad could forbid my ass from going to Paris altogether and b. Elias is a ball-less idiot that agreed with whatever my father say anyway.

To be fair, I just wanted to get out of Mauritius and start building my empire, publish my book maybe or even start a small business. Who knows what life has in store for us!

I finally heard Elias jogging up the stairs and not long after, he emerged in the now nearly empty room expect for the bed, which was once covered in pink cushions but was now dressed in white completely. I would miss this home.

"Where is your passport? I can't find it anywhere" I hastily explain while lifting the bunch of papers I had already skimmed through.

His perfect face crippled a frown before he lifted an eyebrow at me "You're telling me this now? Clare this never would've happened if you had complied with completing the fucking packing a week ago!"

"Oh, so as always, my fault, got it! Now help me, fucktard, our plane leaves in 10 hours, go, go, go" I reply shooing him away. I may have been a little complicated about packing, but no surprise for anyone here, I'm always late.

He turns and walks out, giving me a view of his fabulous ass that was clad to his denim jeans.

A minute later I hear him come back, by then I had completed my search for the passport and it was positively not anywhere on the first floor. Closing the drawer in front of me I turn to find Elias chewing his lower lip in anxiety. Shit.

"What?" I ask, bending my head on each side hearing an orgasmic crack from my neck.

He closed his chestnut eyes, brought his large and god-carved hand to cover the lower part of his face. Maybe I was horny. It took me a second to shake myself out of gawking and drooling at the man standing in front of me. "What is it?" I repeat.

His eyes open and his arm lowers, "I may have left it in the box I dropped at Sarah's place a couple months earlier. I was supposed to make some photocopies to renew my contract and I may have used to copy machine that I left with Sarah."

I felt my heart drop to my feet, "Are you fucking with me?"

"Clare, seriously, stop talking like a trashcan." He severely frowned at me. "It's no big deal, I'll just go grab it and I'll be back in no time."

Today was my day, I was not going to get mad. I took in a deep breath walked to Elias bringing my hands to his shoulders.

A wind of change was washing over me as I looked at his face. Because I didn't see his face anymore. Whenever I glaze over to him, I saw our future and his beauty made it look even brighter. And I couldn't help but trust it, completely, like it was a forecast of omnipresence.

"Alright." I say and suddenly feel his muscles relax under my palms. "Just, keep in mind; this is the last time you see her."

He simply rolled his eyes at me, "Don't worry" he kisses my forehead, "If I didn't have to go I wouldn't, plus I don't think Sarah will be home."

Little did I know, this would be the last time I would gawk at my favorite pair of buttocks in a real long while.

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The meeting went well, oh expect that he explained how he 'accidentally' murdered someone; someone being Bastian. But we will get to this later on. Back in time a bit...

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Helloooooo! So, I have been working on how to write the next few chapters so here is a sort of preview, basically Clare is writing to herself and reminiscing the memories, for a couple (maybe 1-2 more chapters) before we get to the present again

Let me know what you all think about this writing style, also coming up is a shit ton of stuff get prepares! :D

Thank you for reading !