Somewhere

5 - Surprises

Austin had always loved his balcony.

Leaning down over the side of it, bare elbows resting against the cold metal, he smiled.

It was a starry night, the cold breeze making him shiver in his black t-shirt and blue jeans. Streetlights shone, stars sparkled and cars zoomed past on the high road to wherever.

He had always felt peaceful over a balcony. It was like the distance from the legitimate ground was the distance from reality, and he could do anything. He could think of anything, and it wouldn't affect him as much as usual.

So, he thought of Alex.

He would've liked seeing the stars as he held his baby girl. Austin could imagine him, standing there, pointing at constellations while holding his little girl, wrapped up in a fluffy purple blanket. Austin could imagine Alex doing lots of things with her. Reading her a story. Rocking her to sleep, only his touch able to comfort her. Reaching out toward her as she waddled on her two legs for the first time, Alex to catch her as she plummeted.

A single tear slid down Austin's cheek, and he brushed it away.

Austin thought of all the concerts he could've taken Alex and Alaina to. He imagined her giggling, kicking her feet in the air and clapping with her chubby babyish hands as Austin danced and sang on stage. He could even imagine her giggling after, throwing her little arms around his neck and squealing, her way of saying it was a great show.

He remembered the feel of being on stage, how much he had loved it. The adrenaline rushing through him and the amazing feeling of having thousands of people coming to see you do your passion.

Austin shivered again, and opened the door to go back inside. The heat inside hit him like a ton of bricks, and he hummed.

The phone rang, and Austin's hum turned into a frustrated groan.

" Hello?" Austin said gruffly, and the man huffed on the other line.

" Is that any way to greet an old friend? Oh well. Long day?" Nick Ross responded, and Austin smiled.

Nick was the owner of the hotel he stayed in. After being caught in a wave of unemployment, he had sunk into debt. Austin's mom had known him a long time, and, with help of Austin who had sold cookies and lemonade and put in 4 months allowance into the deed, helped pay it off.

Then, after getting back on his feet, getting a steady job again, Nick had started his hotel business when Austin was about 10.

They had lost touch, Nick and his mother, so Austin hadn't heard of him since.

Until the day of AC's funeral.

Austin had wandered off, grief stricken, and tired from nightmares and Austin had found Nick, standing before a grave, laying a bouquet of flowers down in front of it.

Then, now that Austin wasn't a naïve 8 year old that shipped off all his well earned money just because his mom told him to, they hit it off.

And now, here they were. Chatting, like old buddies. Nick had always said that Austin had repaid all of his debt, then Austin would say it was mostly his mother, and then they'd move on to another topic and converse on that instead.

" Yeah." Austin replied. " Really long day. You?"

" Yeah."

The silence fell. It was a comfortable silence, nothing awkward or different or weird in the least. They, too, had a mutual understanding. They both had lost someone extremely dear to them, and that comfortable silence between them was them saying " I know how you feel." in less words.

" You eaten yet?" Nick asked.

" I was actually 'bout to call room service. The usual, sweet tea and pizza." Austin replied, and then the doorbell rang.

" Room Service for Mr. Austin Mahone!" The waiters voice shouted, and Austin chuckled.

" You beat me to it." Austin told Nick, and they both chuckled.

" Well I'll leave you to it then. G'night mate." Nick said, and Austin retorted the same response.

" ROOM SERVICE!" The waiter bellowed on the other side of the door.

" I'M COMING! " Austin bellowed back, opening the door to a grumpy looking man with greasy black hair and a bushy moustache. He had beady, pointy little eyes and a pig-like nose and he looked like he would kick your where the sun don't shine if he didn't get his tip.

So Austin didn't tip him.

Austin only nodded in acknowledgment, taking the pizza box and the juice pitcher from the cart. Austin grumbled a barely audible 'thanks' before slamming the door and plopping back down on the couch, immediately digging into his first of many slices of pizza and turning on the TV.

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Austin's eyes dropped over his eye-balls despite his favourite movie playing on the TV.

It's not that it was boring, in fact it was one of his favourite movies. It was just the fact he was tired.

Really, really tired.

It was warm in the hotel room, too warm for his liking. He had tried turning on the air-conditioning, but it was busted. The warmth made him drowsy and sluggish, and even with the constant buzzing and beeping of his phone, he still couldn't find the will to stay awake.

Which was odd, because he didn't want to sleep in fear of the nightmares.

His eyes closed fully, and Austin struggled to open them again.

Then he had an idea.

There was always one thing that helped him stay awake. Only that one thing could wake him up, and ensure he wouldn't fall asleep again.

( A/N I had One Thing stuck in my head typing that paragraph. Any Directioners reading this? If so, we can fan-girl together over fetus pics and sob over how talented and beautiful in personality they are. Okay, I'm done. )

Austin pulled himself off the couch, and walked slowly to his bathroom. By now his wrists, which were now finally starting to heal after the last time, were itching like mad, and Austin couldn't help but grimace.

He dug through his medicine cabinet, sluggishly, until he found it. It gleamed in the artificial light from the bathroom light and Austin didn't waste time.

He took the razor blade to his left wrist, and sliced the razor blade across his skin. Blood pooled and fell and Austin sighed. He laughed. He felt almost relieved now, like the blood that was falling from him was the nightmares, and things about Alex he wanted to forget.

Austin sliced again. And again. And again, until there was a star on his wrist. It was red, and skin was coming off but Austin didn't care. How could he? His best friend was gone. Long dead. And besides.

He was awake now.

Austin pressed an old shirt to his latest marking, it was almost like a tattoo another added to the many, after rinsing it under cold, running water. He had yelled out in pain, not caring who heard, but went on. He had done this many times in his half-asleep, probably half-crazed daze, so now he was used to it.

Then there was a knock at the door.

It was fast and brisk and angry and it sounded important, even though it probably wasn't.

Austin cursed high and low, stumbling out of the bathroom and holding his aching and bleeding wound close to his chest.

" What?" He said, whipping open the door, only to find a girl there, with long black hair, a tear-stained pale face, and eyes like the green of the ocean.

" I'm Cameron." The girl said, hugging herself around her waist. " Let me in."

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