Twisted: A Hausa Love Story.

**Afrar**

I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't continue to beg him when he had already made up his mind. I just have to live a miserable life till it's my time to leave the world.
I completely judged Marwan wrongly. I thought he was someone I could confide in, someone who doesn't care who I am or how I look, someone who understands how tough the world is, at least it felt that way.
After his so-called apology last week I haven't seen him. I forbade Mayriam to even bring him up because she keeps trying to explain what happened but everything is too clear to be called a coincidence. I wish things had turned out differently between us.

He said he would sort things out but we are supposed to be meeting later, that's what Appa said. I just want to get this over with, by the time we are married I can do whatever the hell I want but right now Appa will be watching my every move.

I took pictures yesterday and sent it to Mayriam, if he cares so much he should edit himself in them, I really don't care. All that matters is that I look good in the pictures.

I walk in and all eyes are on me.
This wasn't how it was, they must have heard about my engagement and they are all curious to see who the groom is but I'm not stupid, no one will ever know this marriage is arranged, no one.

This was the only hair salon that actually get how I want my hair done.
"So the usual?" Blessing asks me.
I nod and smile "Better"

"There must be a special occasion....right?"
"We'll see" I wink.

"You look happier and brighter" she comments.
"Thank you darling. Happiness has a way of making you that way" I lie.

She smiles pretending like she was casually looking around when she was secretly glancing at the people eavesdropping at our conversation.

......
......

I was supposed to meet up with Marwan later on and words can't even express how I feel right now, I had to pretend that's what Appa said but I'm doing the exact opposite, I want him to really know how much I hate it.
I lie down watching the tv.

Being comfortable at home is one of the most important things to me.
I plug in my earplugs and blast Girls Like You by Maroon 5, it's actually the type of song that makes you want to dance so like you would expect I got up and started dancing at the same time clearing the clothes I threw around while looking for my clothes this morning.
I was actually a good dancer although I have been advised never to dance in front of people because it seems and looks a bit inappropriate that is if you would call twerking inappropriate and I'm partly doing this to feel better I really need to let loose.
I was finally done.
I place my hands on my hip panting, working is definitely easier while listening to music, 100%.

I turn around only to see Jafar and Marwan standing there looking at me. Jafar seeing me this way wasn't anything new but Marwan....awkward.
Jafar had a smirk plastered on his face he would never forget this, Marwan just seemed a bit shocked and impressed at the same time but damn what he thinks anyway, the most important thing is to play it cool.
"What are you doing here?" I ask taking the ear plugs off.

"To see you obviously....although not in this light" he sits with his legs crossed. I turn to look at Jafar.
"And you?"

"I didn't think you were home so I thought I'd just wait for you but I saw Marwan at Mudassir's house and I invited him over" Jafar says.
"Remind me to get my freaking key back" luckily my peach kimono was on top of the clothes I folded so I quickly put it on sitting across Marwan. The look on his face was passive, I'm kind of disappointed that impressed look on his face is gone.

"I thought we were supposed to meet later on?" I ask him.
He just gives me a brief look before turning to the tv "There's no point now"
Is he being arrogant!?

"I'm going to go jogging lock the door before you leave" I stand.
"What if I'm leaving in two Hours?" Jafar asks.

"I won't be home. I need to...." I raise my eyebrows. He nods when he gets what I mean.

.......
.......

I stood on the driveway impatiently scrolling through my playlist looking for it. Finally I found it Song Cry by August Alsina.
I put on my head phones my start jogging.
I always listened to it when I really want to think. The song relates to every single mood I've ever felt. Three years and I'm still listening to the song.

There's a saying Someone who understands what you go through always has a way of making you feel better and I guess August too is letting go off his emotions through music but all I have is jogging.
The song reminds me that you cannot change what is written for you, that's the way God has dimmed it. It reminds me that if you cannot do anything about something then you have to learn to live with it, if there is nothing you can do about it there is no use of complaining. Crying just makes you feel better for a moment but every time you remember it, it still hurts so much. Just bury all the pain behind smiles and Instagram live videos. Show people that you're living life and enjoying the wealth and health God has blessed you with.

I come to a halt when I see Marwan standing in front of the house.
"Bored already?" I ask when I walk past him and start walking instead.
"You're not going in? you've been jogging for a while" He joins me.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I ask.
"I don't want this...obviously not as much as you but I don't like it either. But it seems I have no power over it".

I stop and turn to look at him "Please can we talk about this another time? Jogging always keeps my mind off everything and I really don't want to—" I stop talking when I see him plug in his ear plugs.

"Then let's jog" he says jogging ahead. I stand there looking him "Zo manah" He says when he turns back, hearing him speak hausa was even more awkward than going jogging with a guy I'm getting forced to marry.

I smile and quickly catch up.

..