Where Tangents Meet

Dedication/Backstory

True story. My true story.

I'm still a high-schooler, and it may seem ridiculous for me to write a love story. This isn't a story of romance, but of platonic love.

E [A+S] = inf.

That ambition... that potential... his eyes were so sparkly. So, so sparkly. I like sparkly things, always have, always will. So I crushed the sparkle from his eyes, so that I'd be the only one to ever see that beauty. I'm sorry. So, so sorry. Both to you, Asher, and to the world that never got to see your potential. I was a poison, and you were an anchor that kept me grounded in a small town.

So I cut you off, without a warning, without an explanation. I never did say sorry. This is a story about two little kids who loved each other without knowing what love is. A genius little girl, and a boy who yearned to be prove his intelligence, too, but too polite to seize the spot as "smartest in the class." The girl didn't even care, she was just roped into a one-sided friendship.

They did math, day in day out, till every other subject drowned out behind the rustle of the post-its they'd pass back and forth. All the way up to calculus, she taught, and he learned. And she learned. Learned of how brightly eyes can sear your soul, learned of the determination that could drive people to excel beyond their imagination. Learned of learning to need someone, then learned of the pain of pushing them away. But I was a poison, and you were glass, so breakable. I had to.

E [A+S] =0.

I never did tell you... so many things, Asher. I never told you that you're the smartest, sweetest person I've ever met. Even more so than me. When you confessed your feelings a few years later, I never told you that I, Seraphina, love you, too, Asher. You're the one who taught me love. I never told you sorry, so accept this story as my apology if you ever see it.

I've been told my romance is like an Asian drama, but in dramas the endings are always happy. In a drama, we would meet again and I would have a chance to apologize and tell you I love you and we'd have a second chance at our forever. But this is real life. I made a choice to leave you behind in a small town, and now I'm at the number one high school in the country. But now, numbers hurt. When I'm in calc, my fingers work out the familiar differentials and integrals, but my chest hurts. Calculus - this is where we left off. I think I'll quit math after this year. It would feel wrong to learn something we had not learned together. I stopped learning math when I stopped teaching you. Some couples have a song, or a movie. We had math.

You know, I'm at the number one high school now. Number one. Top of the class. But it feels wrong; you should be here with me. Numbers hurt, but words don't. This much I can give you. I have a physics test tomorrow that I should be studying for. It's 1:30 am so please forgive my crappy English. I only have the minutes which I steal from sleep, but I'll give them all to you.