I Like You So Much

넷

-Ruby Jane-

2018

Many things in my life happened. Still hiding in a closet as usual. 

I'm working already and trying to make my life better.  People walk In and out of my life for the last 4 years. I still think of Yoona most of the time. But I'm happy that she's doing good. More people are fangirling over her and Me? 

Ofcourse, hiding. Satisfied in every birthday message that I sent on her. Pathetic right?

I tried to date and even had a relationship that takes almost a year but end it. I know in myself that there's is something really missing. During those days I  keep on visiting her profile most of the time so I choose to end it, I don't want to be unfair on that other person.

Months past. Doing the same routine. 

Not until one day when I'm on my way to work.

I have this huge courage to message her. I don't know what spirit came over me. I keep on thinking about Yoona that whole morning and I can't stop myself anymore to talk to her.

After 3487398 years! I've sent a message in a normal day!

It's out of the blue question.  That after I send it, gustong-gusto ko idelete ang profile ko sa kahihiyan! I don't know why I have to ask that. But that's the first thing on my mind! 

I'm biting lips so hard when I'm waiting for her reply. My heart keeps on pondering when I saw her seen it. I literally run just to be in the office to be online again.

Pikit mata kong inopen ang messenger. Hoping she replies. It takes her minute to reply but a second for me to squeal on happiness. I really jump in my chair and may pag kembot pa sa sobrang kilig ko that time! 

My colleagues are with me but I don't really care! Now I know the feeling when your crush replies back.

Sarap pala sa feeling! I felt like it's my Achievement! Hellooo, it's not anymore a thank you reply for a birthday greeting! 

Our conversation goes on and on.  I know she tried her best to reply back. That girl is really friendly. It's a normal thing for her. She's not a snob like me. 

Every night I'm sending her a message that I'm just here for her. I even talk to her about my dream coz sometimes she always appears in my dreams even in the past years I always see her face.   

When I'm so confused about my decisions and needed someone to talk to I ask her opinion about it. She's good in giving advise, may sense siyang kausap. 

Yoona is Beauty and Brain lady. No doubt.

Minsan I try to cheer her up if I sense that she's not in the mood but I end up " seenzone ". I totally understand her, I'm just really a stranger in her social media. Besides, I should be happy that she's trying to reply back. 

I just really want her to be part of my everyday life. 

It hurts but she didn't know my feelings so I have to be contented. Atleast after 4 years , I face my fears and slowly shows my feelings for her.